Not too long ago, I was a stuck, anxious person who was too afraid to talk to anyone, let alone a large group of people. Now, I have the confidence to feel totally relaxed working with clients one on one, talking in front of big groups, and even being on TV. Is this the sort of transformation you’re seeking? Would you like to know the secret to my personal success story?


I get a lot of emails asking me my about secret to success. They’ve all watched the videos and read the blog posts, but they want the short cut:



  • Is it action?
  • Is it upgrading your mindset?
  • Is it learning more skills?
  • Is it doing physical exercises?



The short answer is YES—all of those things work together to help create amazing confidence. But none of them are going to stand out as the be-all-end-all answer to your prayers. If you really want to know what my personal secret to ultimate confidence is, I’ll tell you: it’s investing in myself.


When I invest in myself, I do learn the skills; I do go through personal exercises and work with amazing mentors who can help me upgrade my mindset and my identity; and I do surround myself with amazing people who encourage me and model how it’s done. When I invest in myself I do take action.


This whole journey started with me investing in a $197 program built around learning to “pick up chicks.” I know it sounds sleazy, but stick with me. The whole thing was really about being a man and taking bold action in order to approach women. Even though it wasn’t perfectly aligned with my current methods, it was very helpful and it set me on my path forward.


This was the first time anyone had introduced the concept of creating false stories in my own mind. The second I learned that the things I’d always been telling myself might not be true (I’m ugly; She’s too good for me; I’ll just get rejected), my mind was blown.


Now, this was a big deal for me at the time. I was only nineteen years old, working part-time at the post office and making $8 per hour—that’s over 24 hours of work for just one program! To a young kid who felt scared and anxious every single day, however, it was worth it. Without that initial investment, I never would have found the knowledge that eventually opened the door to my current confidence.


From that moment on, I knew I’d found a new path forward. Shortly thereafter, I was told about a workshop on mindset training, called “Voice Therapy.” This one was actually for therapists, but I knew it was something I needed to do. I shelled out the $400 on a credit card and took a chance that ended up paying off hugely.


Suddenly, the door into continuous self-improvement had been opened. I was using the tools I’d collected on a daily basis and attending every seminar and workshop I could find. That was when I discovered Tony Robbins.


Now, if you’ve never heard of Tony Robbins, all you need to know is that he is the universal symbol for personal improvement. His group sessions are not cheap. In fact, his Master University program, including several seminars, cost $10,000. This was the point at which I knew I had a tough decision to make—sure, it was a huge sum of money, but it was also something I knew would change my life. I could feel it in my gut. So, I pulled together the funds and made it happen.


That was the start of my new life. Everything from then completely turned around: my profession shifted from psychology to coaching, my goals and motivation were accelerated tenfold, and my mind was opened to possibilities I had never dreamed of.


Since then, every move I make seems to cause growth and continuous forward movement toward bigger and better accomplishments.


This isn’t simply about making yourself a better person or feeling happier in your own skin. While those are fantastic results, they don’t pay the bills. This is also about return on investment. When you invest in yourself, you grow in more ways than you can predict, and you set yourself up for the kind of success and personal initiative that will actually help you earn more money and become significantly more productive.


More recently (still a number of years ago), I invested in a mastermind experience with Christian Nicholson, who is an amazing teacher and brilliant coach. That investment was $47,000 for a full year. Sound crazy? Maybe it was. But it was important to me to have this experience and gain the insight I needed to move forward.


Why am I telling you all of this personal investment information? To underline how committed I am to investing in myself. It truly is the secret to my success. Even within the last few weeks, I was busy attending a weekend seminar and investing in myself again.


Personal growth through self-improvement is a never-ending process.


Everything I am and everything I have—my career, my family, my relationships, my leadership and coaching and parenting skills—is a direct result of my investment in self-improvement.


Now, I’m sure that it must come as no surprise that I would proclaim that the greatest investment you can make is in yourself—I’m a self-improvement coach. That’s why I don’t think you should take it from me.


Recently, my father sent me an article discussing the most important investment you can make. The two men who were interviewed for the article were Tony Robbins and Warren Buffett (both infinitely successful, wealthy men), and they agreed: the most important investment you can make is the investment in yourself. In fact, Warren Buffett is so attached to this tenet, that he keeps the certificate from the first public speaking class he ever invested in on his office wall.


Yes, self-investment is my personal secret to success, but it is also the secret of one of the richest and most powerful men in the world (who also happens to be one of the most brilliant and successful investors of all time).


It’s not all about money—sure, money is probably going to be a part of it—but it’s also about what you do with the knowledge. It’s about how you invest your time, energy, focus, heart, and commitment in the work.


You can spend all the money you want, but if you really want to turn your life around, it’s not going to happen unless you go into it with your entire heart and soul. This is why I have devoted myself to helping eradicate social anxiety for every person, regardless of their economic status. I believe this gift belongs to everyone, so I have created tools to help you achieve your goals at every level, from simply purchasing my book, to engaging in an online training program, to investing in my full training program, Confidence University. Everyone is different: some people can get away with motivating themselves through simple guidance, but if you’re like me and you need more interactive encouragement, those tools are available to you.


You have everything you need to leap forward starting today. There’s no law that says your investment needs to be with me or needs to include only my tools and techniques—there are plenty of amazing teachers out there! The important thing is that you get out there and take bold action starting now so that you can accelerate your growth and become the person you’re meant to be.


As always, I invite you to share your thoughts, comments, and insights below! What investments have you found to be most valuable? How are you using your training to move forward in multiple areas of your life? If you’re feeling inspired, you can also subscribe and become a member of our fantastic community.


Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.