Each and every one of us has that one person in our lives who always seems imperviously confident. He stands taller; he dresses with stylish abandon; he sees himself as unquestionably equal to others; by all accounts, he seems to just KNOW that he deserves self-confidence.
Have you ever sat there and wondered to yourself, What’s his secret?! Well, I’m not embarrassed to admit that I have!
I’ve built my life around finding these unicorn humans and politely grilling them to discover their secrets . . .
. . . and my recent experience in this pursuit was one of the best.
Not too long ago, I attended a presentation with about 400 participants. During a Q&A, one man stood up to ask a question, and I was instantly captivated: this man knew how to carry himself; he spoke to the presenter without any sense of intimidation; and he dressed with an unabashed flair that was somehow simultaneously unique and exceptionally stylish.
I couldn’t help myself—I had to know how he’d managed to get to this level of seemingly inherent confidence in his life.
Later on, at the banquet portion of the event, I approached him, introduced myself and my pursuit toward sharing the gift of ultimate confidence . . . and I asked him, “What is your secret?
How do you do it?”
Not surprisingly, he laughed and said that he hadn’t always been so confident.
For this man, and many others just like him, the confidence was learned—just as it can be learned by you and anyone else willing to put in the work.
What was surprising, however, was that he was ready to hop right into this philosophical conversation with me as though he’d also spent his life studying and teaching the art of extraordinary confidence.
“For me,” he said, “it’s two things: Universal Worth Equality . . . and Reframing Your Weakness.”
At this point, I was floored—he’d actually been so astute in his journey toward ultimate confidence that he’d had the presence of mind to put names to the actions! So, I asked him to elaborate. Firstly, what is universal worth equality, and how do we practice it?
For him, this concept of universal worth equality is all about understanding deep down in your core that no one is better than anyone else.
Everyone alive has insecurities. Behind all of our strengths and weaknesses, cultural differences, economic differences, and social differences, we’re all just the same underneath.
Once you fully grasp that concept at a foundational level, he asserts, your whole reality will shift.
Hungry for more, I asked him to elaborate on “reframing your weaknesses.” This, he said, was a matter of taking those things that make you feel inferior to others and viewing them in a new light—one that doesn’t diminish your value.
At this point, he was ready to move on, but I had to get him to dig a little deeper and provide some more insight. So, he used himself as an example:
For most of my life, I judged myself for being too skinny. I’m a tall guy, and I’m very thin—for years, I saw this as being bony, weak, and unattractive. In my mind, it was a weakness. Then, all of a sudden, I decided to reframe that mindset. I thought about it, and realized that millions of people all over the world wish they could lose weight. In fact, entire industries are built around weight loss and helping people feel thinner.
When I thought about it that way, I was able to see my body type as a strength! Here I am, naturally blessed with something that many people want. Thin is beautiful! Thin is healthy and strong—it’s not a weakness at all!
Universal Worth Equality and Reframing Your Weakness. In my opinion, insights like these are invaluable, and I can’t thank this gentleman enough for sharing his wisdom with our community.
Wherever I go, I attempt to learn from others, because confident people—no matter where they are or what they do for a living—tend to have a uniquely practiced mindset.
It’s almost as though their thoughts are a strategy. This is such a noticeable pattern, that it can be observed and presented as clues for all of us who are trying to boost our own confidence levels.
So, never be afraid to initiate this conversation with the confident people you observe in your own life. You never know what pearl of wisdom you might uncover!
Please feel free to share your thoughts and questions in the comments below. What is one personal “weakness” that you could reframe? What are some traits or behavior patterns of confident people that you’ve noticed? What wisdom have you gathered?
As a side note, don’t let yourself off the hook on this one! If you’re trying to reframe your weakness and you get stuck, keep at it! Get creative, step outside the box, and even seek outside help if necessary. This is a fantastic tool for retraining your subconscious brain, and I know you can make it work for you!
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.