Have you always wanted to be more attractive to people? Do you constantly worry about your looks and how they make other people view you? Maybe you know that you’re an objectively good-looking person, but you worry there is something else about you that is turning people off.
If any of these situations apply to you, then you’ve come to the right place! Today, we’re going to be discussing five major steps you could be taking to increase your attractiveness to the outside world and boost your confidence from the inside-out, starting NOW (don’t worry—no plastic surgery required).
First thing’s first: if you’ve been enjoying these videos and you’d like to dig deeper, then please click on the bell icon below to be subscribed to my network so that you can receive notifications about new videos as they’re released. In addition, you’ll score a free copy of my eBook, Five Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confidence, which will help set you on the path to becoming radically more confident.
Now, onto the good stuff.
We all have certain insecurities about how we look and how we might manipulate our outward appearance to become “better looking.”
Even the most socially celebrated beauties face this issue from time to time. The problem there, however, is that changing your physical appearance is temporary (and usually obvious to everyone around you, which sort of defeats the purpose). You can change your hair, buy new clothes, lose 30 pounds, and chop off your nose . . . but if your confidence isn’t foundationally secure on the inside, then none of that is going to matter—people will still see right through you.
So, how does one become instantly more attractive without dramatically altering his or her physical appearance?
The first step is to choose confidence.
Let’s be honest, folks: confidence is sexy—it’s attractive!
Think about it. Are you more likely to notice (and be interested in) someone who’s slumped over, avoiding eye-contact, and looking uncomfortable in his own skin? Or are you going to notice the person who’s standing tall, smiling, laughing, and unafraid to meet eyes with you? The only difference between person #1 and person #2 is the way they talk to themselves.
You might not think of confidence as something you have control over, but it absolutely is.
Believe it or not, confidence is a skill. Every morning, we have to wake up and choose confidence; we have to choose to believe in ourselves; we have to choose to be on our own sides and act with respect for ourselves. We have to choose to make it a daily habit to remind ourselves that we’re awesome, and we have to use whatever resources (reading, videos, mantras, coaching) get us out of our comfort zones and into the realm of bold action.
Now, this might seem like a bit of a no-brainer, but you’d be amazed at how many of us are simply waking up every morning and expecting it all to just fall into place on its own. That cannot happen. If you want to see a real change, then you have to make it happen—you have to choose confidence.
So, you’ve made the commitment to choosing confidence . . . now what?
Step number two is to own your value.
Be honest: are you the sort of person who constantly dismisses your own value? Are you always dwelling on the ways in which you’re not good enough, discounting your strengths, and downplaying all you have to offer the world? Do you constantly compare yourself to others?
There is a reason for the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
All of these things you’re doing—these negative habits you’ve created—make you feel like you have nothing. Hence, you approach people feeling (and looking) like you’ve got nothing to offer. This is the absolute worst way to introduce yourself to the world.
If you ever want anyone to value you, you have to start by valuing yourself . . . and showing that value to the world!
What do you love about yourself? What positive qualities do you possess? What characteristics do other people seem to enjoy in you? Why would someone be lucky to be in a relationship with you? These are all questions that you have to answer and be intimately attuned to if you ever hope to become infinitely more attractive to the people around you.
Okay. At this point, you’ve chosen confidence and owned your value—now you have to make an approach.
Think of attractiveness as though it’s magnetism: if you want to become more attractive, you have to move toward people.
This isn’t just about approaching people who you find attractive—it’s about moving toward people in general. Introduce yourself more often, engage with others, and practice your social fitness. Build your social engagement muscles over time.
here is that you’re training yourself to see everyone as the same. No one is “above
you,” so you have no reason to be intimidated. “I talk to everyone, so there’s
no reason to be afraid!”
As you continue to approach people, you will become more and more engaged with that activity . . . and that is step four: ENGAGE.
Being engaged and curious about others is one of the easiest and most instant ways to become more attractive to others.
This concept stems all the way back from Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People: the more genuinely interested you are in people, the more genuinely interested they will be in you.
Get fundamentally curious about people: What makes them tick? What do they think about? What are they focused on in their lives? What are their likes and dislikes?
This all starts with letting go of your obsession with whether you’re good enough to be engaging with someone or not. The moment you let go of worrying about yourself, you immediately become more curious about the person in front of you. At the same time, it will allow you to move past your safety police and get to the real you . . .
. . . Which brings us to step five: turn down your filters.
Nothing is ever going to be quite as attractive as the authentic version of you.
Sometimes, people will make it all the way to step four, then chicken out and play it safe. They’re engaging and getting curious, and then they go all nicey-nicey.
If you really want to engage fully and get to know someone on a deeper level, then you have to be honest and let them see your genuine self.
Think about the person or people with whom you’re the most relaxed—the people with whom you laugh the easiest and share your deepest secrets. Those are the people who inspire the behavior and comfort you should try to repeat.
What do you say around these people? What kind of jokes do you make? What questions do you ask?
Get personal, dig deep, let go of your inhibitions a bit, and take a chance—allow yourself to become just a bit riskier in your conversations over time, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly people open up to you and continue to seek out your company!
So, there you have it: the five steps to instant attractiveness.
Choose confidence, own your value, make more approaches, become engaged and curious, and turn down your filters.
In the meantime, I’ll remind you to start off your journey by checking out my website, SocialConfidenceCenter.com, where you can find infinite resources to dramatically boost your confidence level and begin your journey toward ultimate social fitness.
As always, I ask that you please share your questions and comments below! What do you find most engaging about other people? What tips do you have for letting go of your inhibition? How has staying more focused on other people during conversations changed your life? I love to hear from you, and I love to see our community growing and learning from one another . . . so let’s keep it up!
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.