Do you spend your days wishing for happiness? Are you working consistently to bolster your confidence, but still not seeing the results you want? How would you like to experience more fulfillment and self-satisfaction than you could ever gain from money, relationships, adulation, physical perfection, and all the accolades in the world?
If you answered “Yes!” to any of the questions above, then I have just one question for you: Are you on your own side?
If you are honestly seeking high-quality confidence and the kind of happiness that can only come from within, then that is the question with which you should start each and every day:
Are you on your own side?
Fact: it doesn’t matter how much you achieve, experience, know, or own—if you aren’t on your own side, then every material entity you possess will essentially be worthless. Because the only way you can truly enjoy the fruits of your labor is if you truly feel you deserve and are worthy of them.
Without being on your own side, you won’t be able to enjoy the pleasure of a good conversation;
you won’t be able to delight in time with your children; you won’t even be able to appreciate life’s little pleasures, like time with friends, a song you love, or a beautiful sunset.
When you’re not on your own side, you can have everything your heart desires, but you will still feel pain.
Why is that? Because all that we’re really trying to achieve in life—whether we seek more confidence, self-esteem, enjoyment, or fulfillment—is to experience happiness. We want to feel good.
The problem is that you can’t allow yourself to feel good when you’re not on your own side.
So, what does that mean to be on your own side? It means that you believe in yourself, trust in your abilities, and support your endeavors, not just in action, but also in spirit.
Being on your own side is all about giving up on that inner critic that turns against you and never seems to cease its nagging negativity; it’s about letting go of the constant commentary and judgment that comes from obsessing over your actions from the outside; it’s about being taking satisfaction from the hard work you put into an endeavor, rather than experiencing disappointment in everything that you haven’t yet accomplished.
Think about all of the times that you’ve wallowed in self-judgment in lieu of enjoying a great moment:
- Maybe you took a risk at work that paid off big time, but you’re still not happy that you haven’t made partner yet;
- Maybe you had a deep moment of connection with your partner, but your inner critic is still obsessing over a past argument or indiscretion;
- Maybe you’re laughing with friends at a party, but your inner critic is too busy worrying about how you look to let you really enjoy it.
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
These thoughts creep into even the best moments of our lives and syphon the joy and fulfillment right out of them.
We must work to break the nasty habit of self-judgment, guilt, and self-blame by getting on our own sides and allowing ourselves to experience happiness.
Now, ask yourself this question: are you on your own side? If you want to form new patterns of thought, then this is a question that you to need to be asking yourself regularly throughout each and every day.
In fact, I am so passionate about this topic and its effectiveness that I wrote an entire book on it, called On My Own Side, and it’s all about transforming your doubt and inner self-critic into permanent self-worth and confidence. On My Own Side is being released on February 25th, 2020, and I’ll be sharing more updates as it gets closer. In the meantime, however, I want you to begin your journey toward greater confidence starting NOW by asking that lifechanging question every single day: am I on my own side right now?
After you’ve established that habit, start to add in a follow-up question: how can I be more on my own side right now? What actions can I take to get on my own side?
Simply realizing that you’re not supporting yourself is just the first step—after that, you have to take action to reverse the damage you’ve done to your mind and spirit.
So many people go about their days controlled by their inner critic . . . and most of them don’t even know that it’s happening. That is why I’m so thrilled to be sharing more on this topic over the next few weeks that will help you understand the process to greater growth and getting control over your inner voice of negativity.
It’s time to turn off your inner voice and end the suffering that comes from that incessant nagging—it’s time to shift that mindset and get on your own side! Let’s share our thoughts and questions below so that we can continue to learn from each other and grow together. How have you been holding yourself back? What can you do to get on your own side? Please also feel free to subscribe to this blog below so that you can receive notifications about new content as it’s released.
Until we speak again, may have the courage to be who you are, to be on your own side, and to know that you’re awesome.