Are you willing to do what it takes to create the life that you want? Are you willing to get uncomfortable, have the tough conversations, take risks, and experience failure?
Why is this such an important question? Because you can’t walk the path toward ultimate confidence without doing a lot of hard work.
Let’s look at an example from real life:
Recently at one of my live events, I was working with a young man who was feeling stuck in every area of his life, from work to hanging out with his immediate family. No matter where he was or who he was with, he constantly felt inferior. As a result, he was living his life falsely, putting up all kinds of fronts and wearing the “masks” that he thought would impress those around him. Without them, he said, he felt as though he wasn’t enough.
Most of all, he said, he felt this extreme pull toward overcompensation when he was with his brother.
All his life, his older brother had been the dominant one—he was always getting shut down by him and compared to him . . . so much so that he carried the feelings of inadequacy that he had around his brother into other areas of his life.
So, in order to begin to take off the masks, become more real, create relationships based on respect, and take bolder, more decisive action in his life, we decided that it was time for him to have a heart-to-heart with his brother . . . but just the idea of that scared him.
He knew what he had to do to cultivate the relationships that would give him more joy in his life, but he was terrified of what might happen if he took those steps:
- What if we get in a fight?
- What if it doesn’t work and he treats me worse?
- What if it destroys our relationship completely?
Sure, those were all possibilities . . . but that didn’t mean he had to give up. If they had a big blowout, he could approach his brother again a week later, after things had cooled down, and speak to him again. He could let him know that he wasn’t willing to give up on their relationship. He could ask to talk again, as many times as it took to create a positive and supportive relationship built on mutual respect.
Yes, the options listed above take work, but you have to be willing to do what it takes to create the life you want.
Are you willing to do what it takes?
Success requires hard work, and hard work requires a bit of discomfort. If you want to reach your goals—if you want to create a rich social life, meet the love of your life, develop an amazing career, enjoy some personal freedom, or be more authentically you—you have to be willing to endure that discomfort. You have to work through your guilt, your fear, and any other feelings that come up.
Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to do what it takes to create the life that you want? Because if you’re not—if you avoid the fear, avoid the discomfort, and avoid the possibility of failure—you will just stay stuck in the same patterns you’ve been living in for your entire life.
Think about this: millions of people all over the world go through their entire existence never going after what they want. They go to the grave unsatisfied and unfulfilled.
You are not one of those millions of people. You came to this site for a reason; you’ve been watching these videos for a reason; you’ve been working and changing for a reason. You’re seeking something better, and you’re well on your way to reaching it. Don’t give up now just because of a little fear. You spent too much time giving in to fear, and you don’t have to live that way anymore.
Are you willing to do what it takes? I think you are.
As always, I urge you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. What is holding you back from taking the next step? What tough actions are you avoiding? Let’s keep communicating with each other so that we can learn from one another.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
Latest posts by Dr. Aziz (see all)
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