Have The Confidence To Talk To Anyone, Say What You Want, And Boldly Be Yourself
Do you feel powerful in social situations? Whether it’s a business dinner or a house party or a mixer, do you feel confident and secure in yourself? Do you feel as though you can speak freely without second-guessing yourself?
Today we’re going to discuss a powerful way to increase your confidence and success in social situations so that you can enter any sort of get-together comfortably, with power.
We all want to be able to walk into a room full of people and feel powerful. We want to be able to approach groups and individuals with confidence, speak freely, make jokes, look people in the eye, and do it all calmly, without intimidation.
Even though this might be our intention, our actions often work against it during our “pre-game” ritual: we list all the things that could go wrong; we imagine how awkward possible rejections might feel; we picture people not wanting to talk to us; we see ourselves standing on the sidelines like we’ve done so many times before.
When we do this, we’re deflating ourselves—we’re giving all our power away before we’ve even walked in the door. We don’t feel powerful . . . we feel weak, needy, and desperate. At this point, we’ve put ourselves in the position of having to go and seek out small shreds of our power from others.
This is a lot like the Legend of Zelda. If you’ve never played that game, let me quickly explain: the myth follows Link, who is trying to save Princess Zelda from Ganon. To do so, he must collect all of the pieces of the tri-force, a powerful artifact that was shattered by Ganon and spread to the far corners of the world.
Because Link is inherently less powerful than Ganon, he has to travel far and wide, traversing all manner of terrain to collect a force that will allow him to stand up to his foe.
This is the position we put ourselves in when we disperse our power before even entering a social situation: we’ve shattered our tri-force (our power), and have to go about collecting bits of it from everyone at the event.
If I get this person to like me, then I’ll get one shred of power back. Then I’ll try to impress this person, and maybe I’ll get another. If I can get everyone here to approve of me, maybe I’ll feel worthy of being here.
Does that sound like fun to you? No. We’re not enjoying ourselves, we’re still feeling powerless, and the last thing we want to do is ever put ourselves in the same position again.
The worst part about it is that we don’t get the results that we want because people don’t respond well to someone who’s desperately trying to get them to like him. It’s hard, after all, to be attracted to anyone who’s begging for your attention and approval.
This goes along with a podcast I did recently about the fact that desperation is not sexy. If you want to check that out, you can go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. There’s a new episode every week—they’re free, in depth, and packed with information.
In the meantime, let’s focus on how to claim our social power—our tri-force—before we enter a social situation.
In order to activate your power, you must begin by revamping your pre-game ritual. Rather than reminding yourself of what a potential disaster you think you are, you want to build power on the way to the event. The simplest way to do that is to get powerful in your body.
There are many ways to build power in your body, but the best ways include physical and vocal actions: Jump up and down, repeat positive mantras, play and sing a song that pumps you up, remind yourself that you are in control of your power.
Why is this such an important part of the routine? Because once you’ve activated that power in yourself, you’re going to walk into that event not needing to get anything from anyone—in fact, you’ll actually be able to give your positive energy and undivided attention to those around you.
That is magnetism.
When you’re confident about your worth, you can listen in a whole new way. You can approach situations with something to give instead of something to get. Other people can sense that.
People will be magnetically attracted to you and like conversing with you . . . and if that’s not the case—if someone is intimidated or threatened by your confidence and self-worth—find someone else to share your time with. When you have your entire tri-force built up before the social gathering begins, you don’t need to go around collecting shreds of power anymore.
Your power gives you a shield. If someone doesn’t like you, your power allows you to move past it and enjoy someone else. It’s like having an amazing gift to give away. Imagine that your attention and energy are synonymous with a new car: if you were giving away a new car and someone was like, “Yuck, no thanks,” you’d think that person was crazy. Someone is just as crazy if he or she refuses your generous presence.
The key here is to stop giving away all of your power before you even enter the room. You must change your pre-game and show up with more power, confident that your new energy will allow you to approach socialization in a whole new way.
If you want to go even further with this practice, check out my program, Confidence Unleashed, in which we learn and practice techniques and exercises that will help you to activate your power. You will leave these modules vibrating with a new sense of power in yourself, ready to go after the things you want in life.
You can check out that module at ConfidenceUnleashedNow.com. You can also “like,” subscribe or share your comments below. How do you give your power away? What specific techniques do you use to activate your power? The more you watch, the more you learn, so please check out other episodes and visit ConfidenceUnleashedNow.com to access a free eBook that will teach you three ways to transform your story and triple your confidence.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are, become your most powerful self, and know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
- This 10 Second Daily Habit Will Radically Boost Your Confidence - July 2, 2020
- Why Trying To Impress People Never Works (…And What To Do Instead!) - June 25, 2020
- How To Let Go Of Worry And Doubt - June 18, 2020