Right now, there’s a hidden source of power within you—something you can draw from every day to help you reduce your fear, anxiety, and self-doubt, reach a place of bold confidence, and take action to create the life you want. Would you like to know what it is?
Today we’re going to be discussing the greatest source of power you have. One little word that will give you the confidence to say what you want, do what you want, and be who you want to be in the world. Is it looks? Muscles? Money? No.
Choice. It may not sound sexy or exciting . . . but it’s powerful. Not only do you always have a choice, but you are always choosing. Every single thought you have or action you take contains a choice: a choice in the way you frame your ideas; a choice in the way you behave; a choice in the way you speak, eat, and spend your time.
We see and experience choice so often in our lives that we ultimately take it for granted.
So many of my clients grasp this concept right up until the point at which I tell them that they have a choice in doing the thing that scares them. They stand in shock believing that they just can’t do it and that it has absolutely nothing to do with choice. But it does.
You have an uncanny amount of power regarding the direction of your life. When you deny yourself the power of choice in these difficult moments, you surrender your power to your fear. You’re imagining that it’s going to go badly and, subsequently, choosing inaction so that you can avoid discomfort. What you don’t realize in that moment, however, is that in avoiding the bad outcome you envisioned, you’re also choosing the bad outcomes of your inaction: loneliness, isolation, depression, and increased anxiety.
You have a choice to either become a victim or to take ownership of your life, and that ultimate choice is dictated by all the smaller choices you make throughout your day.
This power of choice is so pervasive that it even affects your feelings. Yes—you can control and choose your feelings. Regardless of your family history or personal history or engrained patterns of thought and behavior, you can always work toward creating healthier, more fulfilling patterns in your daily mental state.
Now, a lot of people get upset by this statement, and I can understand why. Mental health is a big concern for many people, and to some extent, our feelings are unconscious: we rarely say to ourselves, “Ok, time to feel anxious now.”
Even though these feelings are not part of our conscious awareness, however, they are often a result of what we’re focusing on in the moment—the stories we’ve told ourselves about how we handle certain situations:
- Those people don’t like me.
- I look stupid today.
- I don’t know anyone here.
- She’s out of my league and knows it.
These thoughts may not even be part of our awareness, but we do have a choice in whether we want to try to catch them and recognize our patterns of thought; and we have a choice in whether we want to work to change that subconscious pattern.
Even if you’ve been giving up your power of choice for years, you can reclaim it. You just have to remember that you always have a choice.
Any time that you feel as though something is just happening to you, I want you to pause and ask yourself whether you actually have a choice. Let’s consider an example: let’s say you hate your job, but you think you have to keep it because you have to pay your bills because you have to care for your family because you have to be a good person. Ok, those are pretty good reasons . . . but there’s still choice.
Do you have to allow your coworkers or your boss to step all over you? Perhaps there are changes you could be making to your daily interactions that would significantly increase your satisfaction with your current work. Do you have to stay in that position? Perhaps you could make a lateral move that might pay less but that might give you much more joy in your work. Do you have to stay in your job at all? Sure, you might think the economy is bad, but there are jobs out there in the world for someone who is willing to take action and make bold choices.
What about other aspects of your life? Do you have to live in that expensive house? Do you have to drive that expensive car? Are there budgeting decisions that could help you cut expenses?
Remember: you’ve made every choice that has led to this point in your life.
Now you have another choice: you can either choose to change something about your situation, even if it’s a tough choice that will require sacrifice; or you can continue with business as usual, accept that you’re not willing to make changes, and at least start to develop subconscious gratitude toward your job for affording you the opportunity to adhere to the aspects of life that do give you joy.
Too often, we tend to allow ourselves to become victims in our own lives because it takes the pressure off: if it’s not our fault and life is just happening to us, then there’s nothing wrong with us. Life might be shitty, and our jobs might be shitty, and the world might be kicking us around, but the important thing is that we don’t have to take responsibility or face our fears.
The fact, however, is that we always have a choice.
If you are still having trouble accepting your responsibility in this exchange or realizing your power to change your life starting now, then you might consider looking into my program, Confidence University. In this program, I get super in depth regarding our ability to choose, to connect to our thoughts and feelings, and to accomplish our goals. This program takes you step by step from through the actions that will lead you to a life rich with confidence. It’s the most detailed, interactive, and powerful confidence training program on the planet: it’s backed by 15 years of research, it’s accessible to everyone in the world, and it’s extremely affordable. To access this amazing content, simply visit Confidence.University.com.
In the meantime, we can begin to break the cycle of negative mental patterns right now by simply recognizing that we always have a choice. Say it out loud right now: “I always have a choice. With every action I take, I am making a choice.” You do have the power to change your life, and I believe you are strong enough to make that choice, starting now!
Thanks for being with me today. Please feel free to subscribe below if you want to get even more out of this channel and our fantastic community of subscribers. As always, I invite you to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s all raise each other up so we can show up in life, be powerful creators, and choose the life we want.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
Latest posts by Dr. Aziz (see all)
- You’re Going To Fail - December 13, 2018
- How To Ask Out Someone With Social Anxiety – Dr. Aziz Q&A - December 11, 2018
- But I Keep Getting Rejected! – Q&A with Dr. Aziz - November 29, 2018