How To Face What You Fear And Build Massive Confidence
If you think about it, confidence is like a cup: there are certain things you do that fill your confidence cup, and there are certain things you do that shoot holes in your confidence cup. There is one thing that you might be doing right now that is definitely killing your confidence: giving in to your discomfort.
Many times, we can see what we want right in front of us (and what we need to do to get it) . . . but we stop ourselves from taking action because we don’t want to do anything that makes us uncomfortable. This sort of mentality is, unfortunately deeply ingrained in most of us, but it can be overcome!
Let me give you an example of this mindset. I was talking with a potential client on the phone and he was sharing a story with me about some problems he was having at work. A few people from another department were pushing him around (not just figuratively) and talking to him in a way that was not appropriate. He didn’t have confidence in himself, but he needed to step up, draw a line in the stand and shed the nice guy image.
I shared a couple simple ideas on how to deal with the situation that had to do with putting forth an assertive front and speaking up for himself. After a few moments of silence, he said, “It seems like a good idea, but I just don’t feel comfortable doing that.”
To me, that sort of uncompromising attitude seemed absurd (I mean, don’t you want to change your life for the better?), but to him, it was not a question. He was so dead set against doing anything that caused him discomfort that we ended up being unable to work together.
This is so unconscious and ingrained in us that it’s like we have a collective agreement not to do anything that makes us uncomfortable.
Whether you’re comfortable or not comfortable has nothing to do with whether you can or can’t do something. You’ve got to separate those two factors and grow the confidence you need to be able to go after the things you want in life.
For any person who wants to be happy, have a family, excel at work, or even get through day-to-day life, he or she eventually has got to be uncomfortable.
We all have to do things that force us to step outside of our comfort zones. Even something as simple as an awkward conversation is a daily occurrence, and sometimes you are only one small uncomfortable moment away from achieving greatness or getting something very important to you.
What’s interesting about this is that kids don’t seem to be affected by their discomfort. Just a little while back, I was at a pool with my family, and there was this huge twenty foot high-dive. In no time, one of the younger kids ran up the ladder and jumped right in! He was only six and he didn’t give it a second thought. After he was done, he came bounding over, and I said, “Wow, I don’t think I could’ve done that when I was your age. Were you scared?” And guess what he said? He had this big smile on his face and he’s like, “Yeah!”
What if we could all stay that fearless? He didn’t think to himself, I don’t feel comfortable so I can’t. He felt discomfort and acted before he had time to let it get to him, and as a result, he had a wonderful experience.
If you really want to build your confidence, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable once in a while. In fact, the next time you notice you’re uncomfortable about something, think of it as a sign that you need to do it. That’s how I’ve oriented myself over the last thirteen years of my life—if there’s something that I’m uncomfortable with, I assume that I need to do it. At this point, I’ve even stopped having a negative gut-reaction to these moments, and the same will happen for you over time.
If you can begin to make this shift in your mentality, you’re going to start seeing rock solid, never-ending increases in your confidence. After over a decade of this life-changing work, I can confidently assert that this practice is the fastest way to set yourself on the path toward a serious confidence boost. If it worked for me, I know it can work for you.
I’d love to hear what you have to say about your experiences with working through your discomfort, so please feel free to “like,” subscribe, and leave your comments below. Sharing your stories with this community below is a great way to stay connected, grow and understand this stuff on a deeper level.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know that you’re awesome.