What do you want to experience in 2018? Do you want it to be an extraordinary year for you? Do you want this to be the year when you do more, achieve more, and most importantly, experience life as you want to experience it?


If you want 2018 to be the year when you break out of the rut and stop the endless cycle of repeating every previous year’s mistakes, then stay tuned—because today, we’ll be discussing one key secret to moving through life with confidence and living on your own terms.


When most people think about a new year, they almost instantly associate it with one thing: resolutions.


  • This year, I’m going to finally lose the weight.
  • This year, I’m going to be more committed to environmentalism.
  • This year, I’m going to stop procrastinating.



New Year’s resolutions can be a great motivator for some people, but for most of the world, including myself, they’re just not sustainable (not to mention statistically unsuccessful).


So, knowing that resolutions tend to lack actual resolve, why do we keep using them as a means of accomplishing our most important endeavors? Because we haven’t yet found a means of doing so that has proven more impactful.


But what if there were a method that didn’t involve goals at all? What if, instead of focusing 100% on what you wanted to get, you focused more acutely on what you wanted to give?


Stick with me here.


In life, the opportunities that come your way aren’t a result of external forces and whims of fate: they’re a reflection of who you are and how you relate to the world around you. Everything you have in your life that is good—your job, your love life, your friendships—they’re all a result of how you’ve chosen to show up in your life on a daily basis. When you present yourself in a positive, bold, heartfelt, and genuine way, good things are more likely to occur.


When you’re a great person to be around—when you show up ready to give more of yourself—people want to be your friend, spend time with you, work with you, and form relationships with you.


It is all a direct reflection of who you are.


Hence, for 2018, let’s try something new: let’s drop the need to set goals, and let’s concentrate instead on who you are and how you’re going to show up in life.


The first step we must take in that endeavor is to realize that we are fully in control of our own destinies.


Many of us have been brainwashed into believing that we have no control over who we are and how we present ourselves to the world, but that is simply not true. You absolutely do have the ability to change, and it all begins with committing to becoming your most authentic self.


But how do we do that?


Well, firstly, you must eliminate your constant urges to people-please and question your every move. When you’re being your most authentic self, you act on your impulses; you take the risks that will move your forward in life; you face your biggest fears.


So, what does that look like for you? What sort of person do you need to be, and how could you change the way you show up in life in order to see big changes in your love life, career, and social circle?


Perhaps envisioning a brighter future for yourself seems too challenging or unrealistic at the moment—push that negativity right out of your mind. You can see major changes in every area of your life by simply adjusting how you show up on a daily basis. So, even if it sounds intimidating, let’s dig deep and explore what that means for you!


Still stuck? Try taking yourself out of the picture and place a different person in your shoes. How would someone else need to show up in their work, social, and dating life in order to accomplish the things you want to accomplish?


By bypassing your own negative associations with your identity, you will better be able to envision the steps necessary to meet with success.


What would these hypothetical people need to do in order to show up more effectively? They would probably need to start more conversations; be more outgoing; comfortably look people in the eye; hold themselves with confidence and pride; commit to the strength and value of their thoughts and ideas; and, most importantly, express more of who they truly are.


Once you have a map that helps you define how you need to show up as you enter the new year, the next step is to actually follow through!


Make no mistake about it: the only thing holding you back from succeeding in this endeavor is your own belief that change is not possible. The truth is that you can reinvent yourself; you can shift the direction of your life; you can change.


Any failure on your part is not due to your inability to change—it’s due to your fear of being uncomfortable.


Everyone in the world has had to struggle at one point or another with an invisible forcefield of discomfort—this forcefield is the only thing standing between you and your forward movement.


Consider this: if you were asked right now, no matter where you are or who you’re with, to make a face and physical gesture that you’d never done before, could you do it? Not would you do it; not would you want to do it; but could you physically do it?


The answer is yes.


In reality, there is nothing that makes that action impossible—the only reason not to do it is because of how uncomfortable it might make you feel. It’s the exact same thing with changing your behavior and outlook on life.


When we envision change, we see opportunities for judgement, embarrassment, and emotional discomfort—all the things we fear the most.


But what if you knew that this fear was the only thing standing in the way of your success? What if you knew, without a doubt, that everything your heart desired could be yours if you would—not could—simply face your fears head-on and prove to yourself that your imagination is far worse than the reality? Wouldn’t that be worth the discomfort?


In life, we must do what scares us in the service of something far greater—we must face our fears until they have no power over us.


Only then can we do whatever we want to do in our lives so that we can create the results we want and become the people we’re meant to be.


So, in the spirit of breaking through out fears starting today, let’s kick of 2018 a few days early with a gesture that shows how ready we are to take on this challenge? Right now, I’d like for you to make some sound or physical gesture that you’ve never made before. I don’t care where you are or who you’re in front of—let’s just do it unapologetically and see what happens!


Ready? Go!


Now, was that so bad? If you really committed and you are in a public place, you might have gotten a few looks and maybe a delighted giggle or two . . . but you’re still here—nobody died, and (hopefully) no one was irreparably harmed. On the other hand, if you’re still sitting there and reading this without having taken that risk, you are just further allowing yourself to get mired down in the negative energy of being unwilling to get uncomfortable. If you can’t even commit to this simple challenge, you’ll never commit to making bold actions on a daily basis that will change your life. There’s still time, though! If you can’t handle it right now, just wait until you’re home—start small and work your way up! Eventually, you’ll have no problem making silly sounds and gestures or taking bold action anywhere, even on a crowded subway or city bus.


Remember: 2018 is all about adjusting the way you show up in the world and facing your fear of the uncomfortable. So, let’s take a chance and get the results that we want!


Please feel free to share your thoughts and observations below: what is holding you back from facing your fears? What is the number one change you need to make to show up more boldly in your life? What tips and tricks have worked for you in this journey? I can’t wait to hear about all of your successes and to continue the journey with you as we move into another fantastic year!


Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.