How do you approach problems? Do you jump into action immediately, confidently ticking away the boxes that mark each accomplishment? Or, do you see the mountain of obstacles in front of you and stand there, dumbstruck?


How do you ask “How?”


There are two ways to approach any tough “How?” You can either act or give in to your intimidation. One action will produce life-changing results, and the other will leave you stuck in a holding pattern forever.


Recently, I was working with a woman who was considering one of my intensive coaching programs. She’d had major, life-altering success with my other resources (books, videos, etc.), and knew she was ready to take her progress to the next level . . . but she was concerned about costs and how to pay for the program, considering recent money issues and less-than-desirable credit.


She kept dejectedly asking, “How on Earth would I ever get the money?”


In response to the obstacles in front of her, she’d convinced herself that she wasn’t worth that sort of investment.


How do you approach tough questions like this? Maybe you’re asking how on Earth you could ever find someone you love; maybe you’re asking how on Earth you could ever land your dream job; maybe you’re asking how on Earth you could ever find the time to attack that big project you’ve been wanting to finish.


Do you ask that question with confidence? Or do you ask it like you already know it’s impossible?


The tone and energy with which you ask “How?” is the tone and energy with which you will approach and deal with the problem.


Let’s consider a real-world scenario:


Imagine you’re driving down the road, and you suddenly get a flat tire. You pull over to take a look, but you’re in the middle of nowhere with nobody to help you. In the back of your car are all of the parts and tools necessary to replace the tire, but you’ve never done it before, and there’s nobody there to help you. What do you do?


Maybe you look to the heavens and think, “Why me?! How on Earth do you change a tire?! I’ve never done this before!” Is that going to produce good results? Probably not.

Here’s the thing, though: in that situation, you have no choice but to get resourceful and act.

In life, we often have the option to do nothing because it won’t outwardly hurt us to do so.

If you don’t know where you’re going to get the money, you simply walk away and give up. If you’re scared of approaching that person, you simply turn the other way and miss out on an opportunity for a relationship. Each time you’re presented with a problem, you can just give up whenever you like, rather than face the issue head-on. You can constantly settle for disappointment.

If you’re stuck on a desert road with no one to help you, however, you’re going to have to take some chances and make something happen.  

At that point, you might start to ask “How?” a little differently: you might get curious; you might start to test theories; you might start to try different options. All of a sudden, you’ve gone from being a whiner to being a problem solver.

In the case of my client above, I got her to consider her “How?” issue as well. We began to ask how she could afford it in a different way. For example, how could she start to save differently? How could she generate more wealth? How could she get more creative with her spending and resources?

Within five minutes of changing her perspective regarding her “How?” she realized that she knew someone who would happily loan her the money because that person believed in her and her progress.

This trick can work for any “How?” in your life:

  • How could I solve this problem in my business?
  • How could I approach this person?
  • How could I speak up in front of others?

Whatever problem you face, slow down, and ask “How?” with curiosity, rather than gloom and doom, and you’ll be infinitely more impressed with the results.

So, how are you going to solve the current problem you’re facing? What can you do to change your “How?” Please share your thoughts, questions, and experiences below so that we can distill the most valuable information and continue to learn from each other.

Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.

Dr. Aziz