Does your journey toward greater confidence feel more like a rollercoaster than a steady climb? Do you wish this process could be more consistent? Do you wish you could wake up every day feeling just as confident, if not more confident, than the day before?
Here’s the good news: that reality is possible for you. The tough part is that you’re going to have to work for it.
If you’re ready to take control of your life, though, I’m here today to teach you exactly how to do it.
The issue with taking ownership of our self-confidence is that
most of us believe it is outside the realm of our control.
Most of us think of confidence like we do the weather: if it’s a sunny day, great! But if it’s not—tough luck, there’s nothing we can do about it.
That mindset is not just detrimental to your mental health, it’s flat-out wrong.
The truth is that YOU are the one who decides what sort of day it will be.
From the moment you wake up to the moment you fall back to sleep at night, you are the one who steers the ship—you decide where it is going to go and how fast it’s going to get there.
So, how do we take control of our minds so that we can turn this thought process right-side-up? Well, to start with, we need to change how we start the day.
Think about this: What is the first thing you think about when you wake up? What is your thought process? What do you focus on?
For most people, their daily thought process is not an intentional entity: they simply wake up and let their mind start running like a horse with no reigns.
Even worse, many of us wake up and grab our phones first thing so that we can let social media or the news tell us how we feel. This is a major problem.
If you want to boost your confidence in a meaningful way from deep down in your gut, you have to get control of your mind starting first thing in the morning.
But, Dr. Aziz, what am I supposed to focus on instead?!
Great question . . . but I’m not the one who can answer that for you.
The fact is that you already know what you need to do to accomplish your most precious goals in life.
Deep down, you know what it will take for you to succeed—for you to create an extraordinary life of confidence, live life fully, and become an engaged, happy, productive, fulfilled human being. The problem for you isn’t not knowing. The problem is fighting through your fears and admitting that you have the power inside you to change your life.
So, think about that for a moment (and get very honest with yourself). What is it that you need to do to move toward your goals? If you’re stuck in your career, maybe you need to speak up more boldly at work; if you’re at a standstill in your love life, maybe you need to take more chances with opening up intimately to people; if you fear mingling in large groups, maybe you need to approach more people on a daily basis and break down that social barrier.
Whatever it is, you already have the answer, whether you know it consciously or not. And you can open yourself more freely up to engaging in the bold actions you’ll need to take if you prepare yourself every morning with a ritual that gets you in the right frame of mind.
But how do you do that? Well, that’s what today’s discussion is all about, so let me share my own personal daily process for setting a healthy, action-driven, and intentional mindset:
Dreams – For me, dreams are very important. I believe that they can tell us a lot about not just our hopes, but also our fears and challenges. Hence, the first thing I do every morning is to set aside a few minutes to think through my dreams and even jot them down in my dream journal. Once I’ve written them down, I can reflect on them a bit and even go back once in a while to see if I notice any patterns that might shed some light on my subconscious thought.
Gratitude – This is a big one. In our modern society, it’s too easy to get sucked into negativity and the “daily grind.” We spend so much time talking about what we don’t like and what’s been difficult for us to get through, that we almost never take a moment to reflect on how lucky we are to have the things we have. Because of that, we literally have to train ourselves to remember gratitude: What am I thankful for? What am I lucky to have? Start each day (and even end each day) coming up with at least three things you should be thankful for and challenge yourself to think of new things every day.
Confidence Creed – This is any personal statement that gets you fired up. Mine is fairly long, but it gets me aligned and makes me feel strong and connected to the world around me:
“Today I will live with extraordinary confidence. I will believe in myself and the beautiful life I am creating. I see all stories in doubt for what they are, feeble attempts to prevent me from taking action to live my full potential and follow the path of divine guidance. I banish TMS and the specter of fear and illusion of weakness it creates. I stand tall, look everyone in the eye and move with power, purpose, strength and confidence. I remember who I am and what I am here to do. I am a leader. I am a warrior. I am an athlete. I am a servant of God. God, thank you for this gift of life. Thank you for this body. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my work. May I have your guidance, divine strength and wisdom to carry out my mission and help my brothers and sisters on this earth.”
Find something that works for you and recite it to yourself each morning to remind yourself how you want to carry yourself throughout every day. The key is not just to read or recite it passively, but to engage with it fully, from the inside out—to declare it and let it guide your daily intentions and choices.
Now, you can choose to take on all of these actions or to simply try one at a time and see what works for you. Maybe you have another idea that will help you center your mind in a positive light every morning (and, if so, I encourage you to share it below!).
Most importantly, however, you must commit to finding a new way to focus your mind intentionally from the moment you wake up.
After a month or so, you might find that you need to adjust or change it altogether. Keep coming up with new things that inspire you, energize you, and guide your focus. If you can do this consistently and make this newfound intentional mindset a habitual practice, there will be no stopping you!
As always, I encourage you to share your thoughts and questions below: What morning focus routines are working for you? What have you learned from this practice? If you would like to dive deeper into this practice, please check out my website, SocialConfidenceCenter.com. There, you can score a free copy of my eBook, Five Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence, which provides a targeted, step-by-step process for developing your confidence and breaking down internal barriers. There are also countless other resources available for anyone who might need additional guidance and support. In the meantime, I hope you will continue to engage with our online community through these videos and blog posts, because I love to see you all learning from each other and growing together.
Until we speak again, you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
- 3 Reasons You Feel Inferior (And What To Do About It) - June 28, 2021
- You Don’t Have Social Anxiety - June 21, 2021
- How To Deal With Guilt About Speaking Up For Yourself - June 14, 2021