What would your life be like if you were totally on your own side no matter what? How would your life be different if you never turned on yourself, criticized yourself, or doubted yourself and your abilities? What would happen to you if you simply believed in yourself?
Can you even imagine a world in which you could take it in stride when someone challenged or criticized or rejected you? Can you imagine a world in which you could own your mistakes and still be on your own side?
These are the tricky questions—the ones that challenge you to take being on your own side to the utmost reaches of its potential. Most people can grasp being on your own side when it comes to letting go of your inner critic or ending self-judgment no matter what . . . but they have more trouble wrapping their minds around the concept of being on your own side when you make an honest mistake.
Regardless of what you’ve been taught, punishing yourself with lectures and self-deprecation every time you make a mistake will not get you the results you’re seeking.
That kind of behavior will only cause you to contract into yourself, become more fearful, and constantly try to please everyone by playing the “nice guy.” It will NOT cause you to become more confident because it’s impossible to criticize yourself into becoming a more aware, loving, and confident person.
If you really want to increase your confidence and your overall potential for happiness, then you must get on your own side. Releasing yourself from endless criticism is just the start of that process.
Think of it this way: imagine that you’re in a romantic relationship with someone, and the best thing you have to say about the person is that he or she doesn’t verbally and emotionally abuse you. You’d be insane to stay in that relationship!
At the very least, we all deserve to be loved, supported, and respected in our relationships—even our relationships with ourselves.
But how do we go about making that happen?
Well, the first thing’s first: as mentioned above, in order to be on your own side, you must first learn to neutralize your inner critic.
For most of us, there is a persistent voice of oversight in our minds that can take over, kick us around, and sabotage us from the inside for years. We tend to give it authority over us out of habit. The truth, however, is that YOU are the captain of your own ship.
If you feel as though you need some guidance in getting control of your inner critic, then you need to check out my new book, On My Own Side, due for release on February 25th of this year. The subject matter is probably obvious enough, but within it, I’ve dedicated an entire chapter to regaining control of your mind and working with that inner voice to help tame it.
It doesn’t stop there, however. Our inner critics are sneaky, and they’re going to try to sabotage you in myriad ways that we address in On My Own Side.
Here’s just one example:
In everyday life, your inner critic doesn’t just come out and tell you that you’re a loser. Instead, it constantly compares you to other people and makes you feel as though you don’t measure up.
Even worse, your inner critic will engage in projected dislike. Whenever you see a group of people that you respect or admire for one reason or another, your inner critic will make up judgments about you and try to convince you that the people in that group are making them:
They think I’m ugly; they think you’re not good enough for them; they’re calling you a loser.
There are so many ways in which our inner critic can turn on us that I literally work through TEN different levels of awareness and action in On My Own Side.
This game of getting on your own side is not an overnight process. You have to identify the major issues you will run into so that you can retrain your entire psychology and stop the self-sabotage in its tracks.
My new book, On My Own Side, can help you do that.
As you read the book and internalize the process through completing each exercise, you will begin the very important process of letting go of unnecessary judgment and doubt. You will begin to catch your preprogrammed behavior so that you can redirect it and finally get on your own side.
This is an essential practice, and it all starts with identifying that self-destructive behavior. Begin to take note of the way in which your inner critic talks to you day by day—pay attention to the way you’re treating yourself. Get good at noticing the sneaky tactics your inner critic will use, and constantly ask yourself, “Am I on my own side?”
If you really want to skyrocket your awareness on this subject, On My Own Side is the book for you. If you’d like to preorder now, then you can visit OMOSbook.com, where you can also enter to win special prizes. You can also visit SocialConfidenceCenter.com to join my email list, subscribe to my blogs and video posts, and receive notifications on new material as it’s released.
Why am I pushing this topic so hard? Because in my years of research and work in this field, I’ve learned that this behavior is crippling our confidence more than any other. We must take action to get on our own sides, take control of our inner critics, and radically improve every area of our lives.
Join me in this mission and help to spread the word of OMOS!
I look forward to sharing more on this topic with you over the next few weeks. In the meantime, please visit my website, OMOSbook.com, and leave your questions and comments below. What do you do to get on your own side? What sneaky ways does your inner critic have of sabotaging your happiness? Let’s work together to end this epidemic of fear and self-doubt so that we can all move forward together and make a better life for ourselves!
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.