Do you feel as though you struggle in many areas of your life? Do you simultaneously wish you had the perfect ability to meet new people and become more successful at work and find more romance?
Maybe what you need isn’t a bunch of tricks and strategies—maybe what you need is something bigger.
The biggest obstacle that most people face when it comes to developing more confidence their own relationship to themselves.
Throughout the years, I’ve had client after client come to me saying that they don’t have what it takes to speak up for themselves or go after the girl or introduce themselves to a stranger. In reality, they weren’t lacking any abilities (if you can move and talk, you can approach someone)—they were simply lacking the belief in themselves they needed to follow through with bold action.
Whenever someone tells me they don’t have what it takes, my answer is, “What you need is OMOS.”
OMOS: On My Own Side
When we’re scared of something, we view it as a threat. We see ourselves failing at an action before we even take the chance to do it, and this forces us to develop (and reinforce) an intensely negative self-hatred over time. It’s so painful, in fact, that it keeps us from putting ourselves out there and going after what we want.
The only answer to that sore of negative mental reinforcement is to get on your own side!
But, how do we do that?
Well, if you’re really interested in digging deeply into this practice, I have a book dedicated to this very subject coming out later this year! In the meantime, however, I have a few tips for learning how to eliminate self-criticism and avoid turning on yourself.
What we’re really trying to do here is learn how to love ourselves.
What if you were your best friend? Would you talk to yourself the way you tend to right now?
Take a moment and consider someone you truly love: would you talk to that person the way your inner critic talks to you? Probably not.
When we adopt a mindset of OMOS, we’re making a conscious decision to treat ourselves more fairly and to change the language we use when relating to ourselves—we’re deciding to treat ourselves like someone we love. This allows us to come from a place of power (rather than defeat) and give our minds the permission to be at peace with ourselves, no matter what!
You can incorporate as many tips, tricks, and techniques into your confidence work as you like, but until you learn to be more OMOS, you’re not going to see the dramatic results you should be enjoying.
Once you’ve taken control of your inner critic and learned to treat yourself with love and respect, then (and only then) can you begin to undergo your amazing process of discovery, including readings, videos, and daily practices that will teach you go after what you want in life.
If there is one thing that you need to take away from today’s discussion, however, it is that NOW is the time to get on your own side!
Make that decision starting today, and you will open up the path to greater self-discovery and your ultimate self-confidence.
As always, I ask that you please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. What internal statements keep you from being on your own side? What tactics do you use to quiet that negative voice in your mind and remind yourself to come from a place of self-love? How have these practices been working out for you? The more we share, the more we learn—so stay involved, and let’s keep growing together!
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
- 3 Reasons You Feel Inferior (And What To Do About It) - June 28, 2021
- You Don’t Have Social Anxiety - June 21, 2021
- How To Deal With Guilt About Speaking Up For Yourself - June 14, 2021