Would you like to believe in yourself more? Would you like to earn more money, create extraordinary relationships, and take your confidence building enterprise to the next level? If so, then stick around . . . because today, we’re going to be discussing a very powerful and practical distinction that will help you to release your inner self-cheerleader, starting today!
Whether you’ve realized it yet or not, believing in yourself is the essence of confidence.
But how do we get to a place where we’re believing in ourselves naturally and honestly?
To start with, let’s get logistical: think of one area of your life that is desperately in need of a boost—an aspect of your life in which you could stand to believe in yourself more fully?
– Maybe you want to believe that you can get in shape;
– Maybe you want to believe that you can grow a business;
– Maybe you want to believe that you can develop a deep, loving relationship.
Whatever it is, this aspect of your life is very important to you, but for some reason, you harbor a lot of self-doubt about it. So, the first thing you need to do if you want to turn that doubt on its head, is to create a little more faith in yourself.
The problem is that belief in ourselves doesn’t just spring from thin air—sometimes it needs a bit of coaxing. And the best way to determine how to coax that faith into being is to determine where the faith originates.
This idea is actually inspired by a concept from the book, Faith, by Sharon Salzberg, in which she discusses bright faith versus verified faith. Bright faith refers to a faith in something you’ve never done before: maybe you’ve never jumped rope, but you’re pretty sure you could do it if you tried. Verified faith refers to a faith in something you’ve already accomplished and know you could do again: “It’s just like riding a bike.”
Typically, verified faith is easier to access because it provides you with evidence that you will be successful in your endeavor. Hence, if you’ve done well at something in the past and you can use that experience to bolster your confidence moving forward, then you should do it!
– I’ve done this before; I can do it again! How did I do it before? What did I focus on? What actions did I take? What did I tell myself to stay motivated?
Simply take yourself back to that moment when you were able to achieve success, and get yourself back into that positive and productive frame of mind.
The most important thing to remember is that YOU did the work to bring your successes to fruition. It wasn’t luck or a fluke—it was you.
Sometimes we have a tendency to sell ourselves short—that’s just our safety police talking.
After all, if you can convince yourself that every success you have is a fluke, then you’ll never have to expect anything of yourself in the future, and you’ll always have a fantastic excuse for your failures.
Every chance you take may not end in success, but you have to own your brilliant moments, even when they don’t work out . . . and remember that failure does not denote a lack of genius.
That said, your safety police are going to come at you even more aggressively when you’re trying to inspire bright faith—when you’ve never done something before, it’s natural to question your ability to do it successfully. This is the time when your inner critic is going to tell you that you should stop and that you’re going to face rejection and failure.
This is when a little psychological strategizing will come in handy.
What we need in this moment is to make our bright faith feel more like verified faith.
Whenever you’re faced with a task you’ve never taken on, the trick is to find some examples from your past that will help you to justify trying something new and imagine your success at it.
Let’s say, for example, that you want to start a business. Ordinarily, you might tell yourself that you’ve never done anything like that before and that it’s too scary and full of potential for failure. Instead, though, you could remind yourself of all the things that make you perfectly suited to this new endeavor:
– Well, I’m great with people, and that will help me build up my contacts;
– I’m a fantastic salesperson, so I know how to snag leads and increase my bottom line quickly;
– I’ve had management experience, so I know how to run things from the top down.
When you’re dealing with bright faith, the name of game is transferring your skills so that you can believe in yourself.
Let’s try another example. What if you wanted to create a romantic relationship, but you’ve never had a serious monogamous relationship before? Ordinarily, you might tell yourself that every relationship you’ve been in has been dysfunctional and that there’s no hope for you. Instead, you might remind yourself of all of the other successful relationships you’ve had in your life and why they were so healthy:
– I have wonderful friendships—I’m always authentic and honest in my communication with my friends, so that would help in a romantic relationship;
– I have a great relationship with my family—I’m always laughing with them and able to come back from a disagreement, and that would be a great skill to take into a romantic relationship.
Do you see what I’m doing here? I’m simply stating all of the things we already know how to do that will serve us when entering into an unknown endeavor.
Whatever it is that you’ve never done before, you already possess specific, verified skills and abilities that will allow you to solidify your faith in yourself and achieve success.
Right now, it may be a faith that you can only grasp conceptually, but the moment you take action, that faith in yourself will begin to solidify itself right down to your core.
Take a moment right now to think of at least two skills that you already possess that relate to that big “bright faith” dream that’s been on your mind. As soon as you remind yourself that you really do already possess the skills necessary to make that dream a reality, you will begin to feel more powerful and believe in yourself more fully.
If all else fails, remember this: everything we’ve ever created as human beings started with bright faith.
We didn’t always have the ability to fly, talk to each other across the world, and access a never-ending database of information from a tiny screen in our pockets—human beings created all of that because of an unverified belief that it could be done.
When your mind says you can’t do it, you must remind yourself of this fact. You can create anything you want, and you already possess the skills you need to make it happen. Just keep the faith, whether bright or verified, and take action starting today!
If you feel as though you need a little more guidance before beginning this journey, please visit my website, SocialConfidenceCenter.com, or click in the description below to find a link where you can enter your email and receive a free copy of my eBook, Five Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confidence.
So, where is your bright faith guiding you? What have your safety police been telling you to keep you from taking action? What transferrable skills do you possess that will make your new endeavor possible? Share your thoughts and questions below and remember that our community is always here to lend an ear and provide you with the additional support you need to get through your toughest social anxiety barricades.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.