Do you feel held back in conversations? Do you often find yourself censoring the questions you really want to ask and holding your tongue when you really have something to say? Are you constantly monitoring your own facial expressions to make sure they don’t give away your inner thoughts and feelings?
Many of us are constantly struggling with an inner inhibition force that shrouds our lives like a wet blanket and keeps us from expressing ourselves fully and truly—and the results are not ideal.
If you really want to communicate effectively with people and form lasting, honest relationships, then we need to get control over this negative force.
Now, the good news is that I can offer you a tried and true method for accomplishing that goal. The bad news is that gaining that control is not going to be a walk in the park, and it’s not going to happen overnight.
What method am I talking about, here? I’m talking about consistent, dedicated RISK.
Fact: confidence (much like happiness) is a practice.
If your goal is ultimate self-confidence, then you’re going to have to work for it. You’re going to have to take bold action and step outside your comfort zone on a regular basis.
Now, for some of you, that may sound more intimidating than it’s worth—but that doesn’t mean you should cut and run! Sure, risk can be scary, but there is seldom any payoff in life without it. Plus, by reading these posts and watching my videos, you’ve already joined this incredible community of likeminded individuals who can offer advice and support.
For those of you who need a little more guidance and encouragement, however, I suggest you check out my upcoming event, Supremely Confident Conversation Master. This three-day live intensive seminar focuses 100% on conversation mastery, and includes key strategies for initiating conversations, owning your value, eradicating self-doubt, engaging more fully, and tapping into the most authentic version of yourself. By the end of the weekend, you’ll have mastered the ability to tell stories, keep a great conversation going, dive deeply into social interactions, and even be the center of attention . . . and enjoy it!
If you think that sounds like just what you need, then jump down to the link for our early bird special, where you will receive a 90% discount on ticket prices for a limited time! These live events are where the magic really happens—this is where your hard work will be amplified, reaping exponential benefits. So, come join us, and watch your ultimate confidence begin to break through.
In the meantime, though, there is plenty you can do at home to jumpstart this confidence transformation.
While there may be no discomfort-free route to your goal of greater confidence, daily risk is a fool-proof tactic for success . . . and it’s something you can (and should) do every single day!
The best thing about consistent, dedicated risk is that you can customize it to suit your needs. If you’re not feeling up for a big risk right away, you can start small. If you’re ready for a challenge, you can add intensity or repetition.
The more risks you take and the more consistently you take them, the more you’re going to grow and build the capacity for bold action in every single area of your life.
So, what are some of the risks we should be taking to develop our conversational mastery, and how do we go about taking them?
To begin with, we need to start taking down our filters.
The biggest obstacle for most people in gaining conversational mastery is NOT simply knowing what to say next—it’s knowing what to say and actually saying it.
There are so many reasons that we clam up in social situations. We’re afraid of being rude; we’re afraid of asking the wrong questions; we’re afraid of giving up too much information about ourselves. There are a thousand different things we could say, but we filter each and everyone of them for fear of how we’ll be perceived.
So, step one to greater conversation confidence is to turn down that filter and put those fears to the test—ask the question; share the personal story; make the deep connection.
Each day, just commit to taking one conversational risk.
The next week, you can increase that challenge. Within a few weeks, you’ll be challenging yourself to one risk per interaction.
Keep in mind, risks can be small: maybe something in a conversation sparks a memory for you, and you briefly interrupt the speaker to share it. For a bigger risk, you might gently confront a coworker on a theory or plan that seems ineffective to you. As long as you do it respectfully, these risks should come with little to no cost.
Perhaps the biggest challenge for you will be sharing honest personal information. Maybe someone asks you how you are, and you tell them the truth, rather than just rattling off a scripted, “Great!” Maybe you elaborate on something that went really well for you instead of just going about the usual small talk.
You have the ability to develop conversation mastery—you just have to start taking the risks that will get you there. Be more real with people. Let down your walls. Lean into personal connection. If you are committed, your conversational skills will begin to soar before you know it.
So, let’s commit right now to taking one risk per day. Also, please comment below with any thoughts or questions you may have. What is one small risk you could take starting tomorrow? What is a bigger risk you should work up to? What benefits would come into your life if you developed greater conversational mastery? Remember, we’re all here to support each other and grow from our shared and personal experiences.
And if you’re really looking to boost your social confidence level at an exponential rate, click on the link below to secure your discounted tickets to Supremely Confident Conversation Master, running April 17th through the 19th in Portland, Oregon. I’m uniquely excited for this event, so I hope to see you all there!
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.