Discover One Thing You Must Do To Skyrocket Your Confidence
Do you want to make a massive shift in your confidence so that you can apply it toward success in your business, work, finances, and relationships? Some people may think they have the answer to ultimate confidence, but there’s a gaping mental disconnect that stops them from really moving forward.
So what’s the secret to radically increasing your confidence? You have to step outside your comfort zone, and do the things that scare you. I realize this is hardly new information for some of you, but stick with me here . . . there’s a big breakthrough coming up shortly. For now, let’s discuss what stepping outside your comfort zone looks like.
Let’s say you want to get better at public speaking, but it’s way outside your comfort zone. Even though it could improve your career and the rest of your life in about a million different ways, you avoid it like the plague because you’re scared of it, and you’re scared of it because you’re not very good at it. What’s the root of the problem here? The fear of not being good at something.
Consider this: the only way you’re ever going to get good at something is to do it over and over again (practice makes perfect, right?). You have to do the things that scare you in order to get better at them and gain the confidence required to succeed. This applies to everything from increasing your sales to talking to a love interest.
Now, this is about the time most of my clients say, “But, Aziz, This terrifies me. Isn’t there another way?!” The answer is, unfortunately, NO.
You must face your fears and face them often.
In clinical psychology, this process is called “gradual exposure,” and it has been shown to work for a million different things. There are, however, a few ways that you can sabotage yourself when it comes to facing your fears.
The first and most common is assuming that you’ve really given it your best effort after the first few tries. One of my clients is a good example of this. He wanted to start getting better at approaching people—doing things as simple as saying “hi” as he passed them on the street—so he tried three or four times for one day and couldn’t figure out why his fear wasn’t going away. From an outsider’s perspective, the answer is as plain as day: He didn’t do it enough!
Let’s say your friend wanted to get really strong, so he told you he was going to start working out. Then, after going to the gym for one day and doing three sets of curls, he got discouraged because he didn’t reach his goal of becoming stronger. You’d think he was crazy, right?
It’s the exact same thing with confidence and every other skill or strength you want to develop. If you want to get stronger, you go to the gym consistently for a period of three or four months (at least), and you do a variety of exercises that will work the different muscles of your body so that you can develop that strength. That’s the only way you will get stronger.
You can’t expect to quickly dabble in your fears and have them disappear instantly without a trace. You must approach them again and again to desensitize yourself to them and start to develop that confidence in their presence.
Another thing we do to undermine our success (and this goes along with the first) is to make excuse after excuse for not doing it—we use the same old stories to keep ourselves guarded under layers of protection: I can’t do it. It didn’t work last time so it won’t work now. I don’t really care that much about it anyway.
What’s worse is that the excuses and the lack of effort can work together to keep us in a constant cycle of failure: you try once and it doesn’t work, then you make an excuse to convince yourself you’ve done the best you could so that you don’t have to do it again. Anytime someone convinces you to try again, your subconscious remembers this cycle so that you can try just once, fail, then have the perfect excuse for not trying again.
Here’s the reality: if you get out there, step outside your comfort zone, and do it again and again it will work and it will transform your life. If you haven’t given it at least one hundred chances, you have not given it a chance at all.
Now, maybe that sounds like a lot of work, and it is. As one of my clients put it, “I don’t need to really conquer my confidence; I just want to do enough to get out of feeling uncomfortable.” The problem there is that even to grow a little bit, you’re going to have to step way outside your comfort zone, and you’re going to have to do it often.
If you have to do the work anyway, why would you only want to go from miserable to okay?
Why not go from miserable to okay, then keep riding the train all the way to “Life is great”? Isn’t that what we’re here for anyway?
The more you do it, the less scary it gets. The less scary it gets, the better you get at it. The better you get at it, the more fun you have and the more your confidence will grow.
The second thing we do to undermine our success is to allow our inner coach to call us failures. Think about how you motivate yourself when you need to do something frightening. Maybe it sounds something like this: Get out there, you wimp! Just do it! Anyone else could do it! They’d probably do it better! You suck!
Not only are you allowing your inner coach to beat you into trying it, but you’re also evaluating yourself unfairly, both during and after your attempt. If you let this mentality take over, it’s really going to hinder your progress.
To really change your life, you have to find a way to temper your inner critic and get on your own side. One really powerful way to do that is through joining my program, Confidence Unleashed. This incredibly powerful new version of the program will help you rework your entire mind, aligning you for maximum success.
Feel free to “like,” subscribe, and leave your comments below. Let me know it goes so we can all support and inspire each other to keep going, learning, and growing your confidence.
And until we meet again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know that you’re awesome. I’ll talk to you soon.