Do you worry too much? Do you spend your free time in fear of what the future will bring in regard to your social situations and other relationships? Is that constant anxiety taking its toll on you in a negative way?

If you would like to take control of your state of mind and learn how to stop worrying, then stick around, because today I’m going to share a few key tips that have worked for me and my clients for years!

Worrying is toxic in so many ways . . . and yet, it’s hard to stop.

It’s almost impossible to just tell yourself to quit worrying—your mind is hardly going to listen. So, what we need to do is shift the way we think so that we can ultimately change our entire reality.

But how do we do that? Let’s hop right into the work with a little visualization exercise:

Firstly, I’d like you to start by picturing a structure: it can be a house or an office or even a single room of your own. The important thing is that you must have complete dominion over this space, and you alone must determine what is allowed into it.

Now, once you’re in this room, what do you want to let into it? Do you let in strangers who berate you and voices that tell you you’re not good enough?


When you’re really the one in control of your domain, you only let in friends and positive influences.

You decide who gains entry because you subconsciously know what’s best for you and what will inspire and fuel your best self. If something unwanted happens to slip in under the crack in the door, you have the power to escort it right back out.

You are in charge.

This simple imagery can be quite powerful, because it gives you a way to practice self-control over your thought process and focus.

As you enter this visualization, beware of assuming that worry and anxiety are a necessary part of the process. This is one case in which allowing these elements into your personal space is not going to help you—in fact, it will likely weaken you by making you less confident and resourceful.

If you find yourself struggling with this obstacle, then try adopting the strategy that has worked so well for me and many of my clients: adopt a new identity.

Who are you when you’re in this personal and self-controlled space? Are you someone who allows outside forces to determine your fate, or are you someone who stands up for yourself and solves problems?

When you commit to an identity that doesn’t allow setbacks and fear to stand in its way, you gain infinitely more power and self-assurance.

In order to do that, though, you must tell yourself that you already possess that power naturally from within:

–          I don’t worry—I solve problems.

Often, when we can’t let go of worry, it’s because there’s a problem we need to solve. So, it falls upon you to become your own “fixer.” You must take fear out of the equation and look at the problem rationally:

–          Worried about your tax return?

o   Research the issue and talk to an accountant.

–          Feel like you’re aging too quickly?

o   Consider cost-effective anti-aging measures and start adopting a healthier diet and exercise regimen.

–          Can’t stop thinking about finances?

o   Get out your Excel spreadsheet and list everything out so that you can determine which costs are expendable and which aren’t.

Every problem has a solution, and you need to become someone who not only knows how to find it, but who is also willing to work hard to do so.

In this endeavor, you must be diligent. Every time you feel a worry pop into your personal space, address it immediately and give yourself a goal: keep the persistent concerns in some sort of list if necessary, and set deadlines and time slots for addressing them.

Most importantly, if it’s not your scheduled time to address a concern, let it go!

It’s impossible to solve a problem when your attention is divided between ruminating on the worry and engaging in some other activity.

When I’m at the gym and find myself worrying about my appearance, I remind myself that it’s already on my list, and I’ll get to it at the scheduled time. Since it’s not time to worry about it, I escort it out of my personal space.

Whether your problem-solving time is 10 minutes every morning or one hour on the weekend, that time is sacred, so you must stick to it.

Now, in many cases, I’ve come across people who want to believe they have a problem that can’t be solved . . . and that’s simply not true.

Regardless of the nature of your problem, you will always be able to find a solution—it might not be a solution you like, but it is a solution that exists.

Let’s go back to the case of aging: this might be a tough one because it is internal, but it is something you can address and move past.

In my 20s, for example, I started noticing my hairline receding. I knew that there were a few things I could do about it (a hair piece, medicated shampoo, hair plugs, drugs, etc.), none of which appealed to me. At that point, I had to decide whether I really wanted to go that route or just let it go.

Ultimately, I chose to let it go.

Aging (along with myriad other issues) is simply a part of life—a part of what it means to exist as a human being.

External issues (financial problems, weight gain, etc.) are those which present a clear, if not always easy, solution. Many internal issues, however, will require a certain willingness to simply surrender and rise above the toxic messages that society plants in our minds.

You will not always have total control over the circumstances in your life, but that doesn’t mean you need to be a slave to disappointment. Sure, it may take a lot of inner work and personal growth to get to a place where you can trust in life and move past these seemingly significant issues, but that’s what we’re here to do: grow and learn.

If you’re ready to continue that journey, please subscribe to this channel so that you can keep current on new material as it’s released. Also, please share your thoughts, challenges, and successes below: What worries do you have trouble letting go of? What’s standing in the way of you addressing them? Everyone reading this has some personal qualm they need to address, and understanding that we’re all in this together can be incredibly reassuring and inspirational. The more we share, the more we learn, and the more confident we become.

Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.