Hello everyone. It’s Dr. Aziz here, and this is just a quick check-in from me to see how things are going and offer my support if you need it—it’s a message you can come back to whenever you like and whenever you feel as though you need a bit of a boost.
Now, what little message could be so important that it deserves its own dedicated video and blog post?
My message is this: it’s okay. YOU are okay.
Whatever is happening inside you right now . . . it’s okay. Maybe you’re dealing with some extra anxiety today or self-criticism or self-hatred; maybe your negative inner critic has been on overdrive lately, and you’re having trouble tuning him out; maybe you’re experiencing fear, pain, and hopelessness for some reason, and it’s all just too overwhelming.
Regardless of what you’re going through, my message to you is that IT IS OKAY.
Many years ago, back when I had just begun my confidence work and had developed enough confidence to be able to put myself out there, I went to my first Tony Robbins event. This was an incredibly illuminating event for me, so I signed up to attend another one a few months later. Even though I’d been riding a high from that first event, I began to crash and burn about a month later. It was almost as though my inner critic had reached a whole new level.
Now, this was all happening pretty close to the onset of the second Tony Robbins event, and the voice in my head would not stop berating me and reminding me of how worthless I was. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my head in my hands, feeling worse than I had in my life and wondering what in the world I was going to do. It was incredibly painful, and I felt like I had no idea what was going on.
In retrospect, it’s obvious: I was trying to keep myself safe from discomfort.
Whenever you’re going to make a big change in your life—especially a positive one—your inner safety police are going to go into overdrive.
They know full-well that change means stepping outside of your comfort zone, so they’re going to do everything in their power to keep you from taking action. They’re going to intensify that self-hatred and self-judgment in an effort to keep you safe (and stuck!) exactly in the same place as you’ve always been.
In my case, these events were changing the way I lived my life, shifting my mindset, and pointing me in a more positive direction that I’d ever travelled. Hence, my inner critic was terrified and was giving everything it had, including making me completely implode on myself.
The point here is that I know what you’re going through, and I can say from experience that it’s going to be okay. There have been times in my life when I felt like I was going crazy, experiencing debilitating self-criticism, social anxiety, obsessive thoughts, and panic . . . but I always made it through by reminding myself to exercise a little self-compassion.
Whatever you’re going through—it’s a sign that you’re human. It’s okay that you’re experiencing those feelings; it’s okay that you feel lost. We all do from time to time, even if everyone you know doesn’t admit it. Whether you understand it or not—whether it has a clinical name or not—just allow yourself the freedom to know that it’s okay.
There are countless resources out there to help you through any serious inner issues you’re experiencing, and you should absolutely take advantage of those if you’re feeling overwhelmed to a dangerous degree.
Just as important, however, is the ability to understand on a deep level that you’re still an amazing person and everything is going to be okay.
This is the message of hope that I want to leave you with today: you’re going to be okay.
You’re going to grow through this. You’re going to get better from this. This will subside into your past and lead you into a new chapter of your life where you learn how to deal with your social anxiety, how to treat your depression, and how to seek help for the truly dangerous thoughts you might be having.
Your life will never be perfect—that’s just the real world. All those reality stars and celebrities on TV who seem to have everything they could ever want . . . they’re being paid to tell a story. It’s not real. In real life, things will never be perfect . . . but they CAN get better.
As you face challenges and meet them head-on, one by one, the intensity of your fear will diminish. You will know that you can survive obstacles because you will already have done it. You will know that you can get to the other side of the road because you will already have crossed it.
Take a look around you—you are in that process right now. Hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other . . . because you got this.
If you feel as though you need the kind of support you can’t get from a video, please check out my program, Confidence University. This program provides a live community that can help you resolve your long-term issues, shift your mindset, and elevate the level of happiness in your life.
Regardless of your program participation, however, please know that you are NOT alone. We’re all here to share our stories and help each other grow through love and support. Speaking of which, please share your comments and questions about this topic in the comments below so that we can continue to learn from one another.
And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.