Is your self-worth conditional? Does it go up and down throughout the day depending on whether something good or bad has just occurred? Do you go from thinking you’re brilliant one moment to thinking you’re a perfect failure the next?
How would you like to have permanent self-worth? Wouldn’t it feel fulfilling to understand at any given moment that you are unique, talented, lovable, and valuable?
We’ve all been there—we all know the condition of riding the rollercoaster of self-worth from its highest peak to its lowest chasm.
Whether we’re receiving high praises or scathing criticisms, we allow what is being said about us to dictate our inner sense of value. That is called conditional self-worth.
Now, I’ve been on this rollercoaster myself, and I can tell you from experience that it is not where you want to be (and not where you belong!).
If you’re truly seeking happiness and fulfillment in your life, you’re not going to come anywhere near it unless you start getting on your own side! In fact, I’ve written a book entirely centered on that subject, called, On My Own Side. This title is all about helping you to uncover your own sense of permanent self-worth so that you can achieve a state of being that allows you to enjoy life to its fullest and reap its richest benefits.
On My Own Side (OMOS) is chock-full of guided processes, morning rituals, and daily practices that will help you to let go of the fear caused by an overactive inner critic.
It also comes with videos, audio trainings, and additional valuable bonus material to supplement everything that couldn’t be written down effectively within the book. If you’re interested in checking that out, I recommend you go to OmosBook.com, Amazon.com [search OMOS book], or click the link below. This is a powerful resource to help you begin your transformation to ultimate confidence.
Permanent self-worth is a topic about which I am endlessly passionate. As many of you know, I spent decades allowing my life to be overshadowed by social anxiety. And after helping myself and thousands of others out of the rut of low self-confidence, I can safely say that the journey toward discovering your most confident self begins with getting on your own side so that you can understand your value.
Why am I so passionate about this? Because, frankly, the world is simply a better place when you get on your own side. It’s not just a better place for you—it’s also better for everyone around you.
So, what’s one way you can go about getting on your own side and experiencing more permanent self-worth, starting right now? Stop investing in such low-grade fuel.
Here’s the thing: most of us go around from day to day bartering with value equivalents—“When X happens, I can feel good about myself.”
We operate as though some special thing has to happen to us in order to experience self-worth:
- I forced myself to go to the gym today—now, I’m a good person
- I beat my sales record—now, I’m good at my job.
- She finally praised me—now, I’m attractive.
It’s like our self-worth is shut up in some lockbox in the back of the closet, and we need some special code to access it. The problem is that we have to lock it back up at the end of the day and find another code the next. It’s exhausting!
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t want to accept praise or go to the gym, but wouldn’t it be nice if your entire sense of value wasn’t tied to these circumstances?
In your mind, these confidence prerequisites are supposed to be boosting your self-esteem and giving you the energy you need to thrive—but, in reality, they’re barely even keeping you afloat.
If something is providing you with only enough to scrape by, it’s not motivating you at the highest level. That’s why I call these tactics low-grade fuel.
Instead of settling for a junk product, what we need to do is increase our store of permanent self-worth with the highest-quality fuel there is: accepting that you are on your own side . . . NO MATTER WHAT.
When you’re on your own side, you will see not only an unparalleled boost in your confidence, but you will also immediately notice and enjoy how differently the world responds to you.
Fact: when someone has a high sense of self-worth, he doesn’t need to manipulate or control others in order to feel worthy.
So often, we develop such a need for approval or validation, that we become desperate—willing to do anything to get it. It’s not as though it’s a completely conscious action, either. We simply can’t stand the emotional pain and physical discomfort associated with rejection and a feeling of unworthiness.
Hence, in order to get what we think we need, we become willing to manipulate the people and events around us. We try to look a certain way, even going to such lengths as undergoing plastic surgery; we act a certain way; we hide qualities we think might not be ideal.
This misrepresentation is not malicious—it’s just something we do because we can’t see another way.
But there is another way! All you need to do is eliminate these unnecessary band-aid solutions for your confidence problems and get on your own side. Once you let go of the need for the approval of others, you will finally be able to see your own value, no matter what.
- So, I didn’t get the promotion—I’m still amazing at my job.
- So, they didn’t want to hire me—I’ll be alright. I’ll find something even better!
- So, that date didn’t work out—I’m still desirable to plenty of people.
And the more you commit to this unfailing support of yourself, the more other people will begin to see your strength and resilience radiating from within.
As mentioned above, this shift in your mindset will do just as much for other people’s perceptions of you as it does for your own.
Once you stop hiding all of your amazing qualities behind a cloak of anxiety, people will be able to recognize your talents and see you for who you really are.
When you’re on your own side no matter what, only good things can come your way. So, start that journey by reminding yourself to let go of unnecessary outside validation. And if you want a little more guidance on that front, then On My Own Side is the book for you! Simply go to OmosBook.com to score a copy, or join my email list at SocialConfidenceCenter.com, where you can win prizes and hear more about this exciting book release.
I’m very excited to hear about your journey toward greater OMOS and permanent self-worth, so please share your questions and thoughts in the comments below. How are you sabotaging your OMOS? What can you do to get on your own side? What would having permanent self-worth do for your life? Let’s keep this community thriving with communication and support.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
- This 10 Second Daily Habit Will Radically Boost Your Confidence - July 2, 2020
- Why Trying To Impress People Never Works (…And What To Do Instead!) - June 25, 2020
- How To Let Go Of Worry And Doubt - June 18, 2020