USE BOLD ACTION TO INCREASE YOUR ABILITY TO BOUNCE BACK IN EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE.
We’ve all been there: we mess up in a major way, make fools of ourselves, and generally stand there with egg on our faces feeling like idiots.
Welcome to what it feels like to be human. Everyone on the planet has faced seemingly insurmountable failure at least once in his or her life, and it can be extremely difficult to process. But we don’t have to let it cripple us!
Today, I’d like to share one simple strategy for working through failure that will allow you to radically shift your perspective so that you can free yourself of the shame, fear, and doubt that keeps you from achieving what you want.
So, what brings me to the topic of what to do in the face of failure? To be honest, it was my own silly mistake.
Recently, I was recording one of my videos: I had my notes prepared, my energy was fantastic, and it was a topic about which I am very passionate . . . and then I got through my entire talk before realizing I had never pressed the “Record” button.
Anyone who’s ever put their full heart into an endeavor knows how exhausting and discouraging it can be to fail (even in a small way).
We accidentally delete a document we’re working on; we get blown off by someone we’ve built up the courage to ask out; we drop the ball on a big project at work.
Failure is disheartening, for sure—but it doesn’t have to keep you from achieving success in the long run.
Think about it this way: how productive are exhaustion and discouragement? Not very productive at all. So, what is the first thing you need to do when those feelings begin to creep up in the face of failure? Push them to the side!
This is a habit I’ve developed personally over the years. When failure rears its ugly head, jump right back into action.
When we allow ourselves to indulge in our negative feelings, we just weigh ourselves down even more.
Instead, take a deep breath, remind yourself that pouting won’t change what happened, and get moving!
In the case of my video, I immediately set out to re-record the talk. Since I was so inspired by this topic, I jumped right into “Rapid Recovery from Failure,” and then kept that success rolling right into the re-taping of the first video.
The whole point of this plan of action is to deny our temptation to believe that everything is always supposed to work out perfectly—that’s just not realistic.
When something goes wrong, we feel as though we’ve suffered some injustice. We think to ourselves, “That’s not the way it was supposed to go.” Here’s the fact of the matter, though: that’s exactly how it did go. And since nobody has figured out the trick to time travel yet, there’s no use dwelling over imperfect moments.
What I find far more productive is to assume that everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to. When I look at failure from that perspective, I’m able to see the benefit in what’s happened, rather than the downfalls.
This perspective on life is not only freeing, but it can work wonders for creative endeavors. Going back to my video recording example, I could have been mad that I “wasted” 20 minutes—instead, however, I decided that the universe thought I could do a better job than I did on my first try.
The willingness to strive for greatness in the face of your obstacles can apply to every aspect of your life.
In fact, this is something you can train yourself to do on a regular basis! Let’s take a look at this concept from a social perspective: if you’re terrified of starting conversations, you could just give up after one lukewarm interaction, or you could walk away from that experience, learn something from it, and commit to jumping right back into at least two more conversations that day.
This will drastically help you to improve what I like to call your “Refresh Rate.” In other words, when you fail or face rejection, you will take less and less time to go back out and try again.
This can work in literally any area of your life!
If you can make five more sales calls, approach a couple more women, mingle with a few more business contacts, you will slowly train yourself to get out of that state of discouragement so fast that it will no longer hold any influence over your ability to accomplish your goals.
The more you lament life’s challenges, the less energy you have.
At the end of the day, you can support any story you want. You can choose to lament the obstacles in your path, or you can experience them and move on without giving them any more of your energy than necessary.
For me, making the decision not to allow that negativity into my life anymore has had a profound impact not only on my productivity, but also on my overall mental and emotional wellbeing. This is what I wish for you in all of your endeavors, and the possibility of success is at your fingertips if you’re willing to do the work starting today!
So, how can you start implementing this practice in your life right now? What area of your life most makes you feel discouraged? What could you do to increase your refresh rate in this area? Share your experiences with this concept below, and please subscribe if you’d like to start receiving content as soon as it’s released.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
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- But I Keep Getting Rejected! – Q&A with Dr. Aziz - November 29, 2018