Do you find yourself hesitating a lot? Do you tend to assume that the determination you need to accomplish your biggest goals will just magically appear someday?
If there is any part of you that is holding out for the day when you won’t be scared to go after the things you want in life, then this is the blog for you!
As promised, here we are at part #2 of our “Sneaky Confidence Killer” series: Waiting for Courage.
This is an important grouping of tutorials because each one is a piece of the puzzle defining the little things we do day after day that take a huge toll on our confidence. Each sneaky confidence killer is just part of a set of patterns that messes with our perception of the world around us, creates negative mental habits, and keeps us stuck in a bubble of complicit mediocrity.
By learning to spot these seemingly insignificant daily habits, you won’t just radically transform your experience in life—you’ll upgrade the way you view yourself and everything around you.
So, why is waiting for courage such a detriment to our confidence development? Because it will never come.
Don’t lose heart! That isn’t to say that you will never have courage—it just means that it’s not going to show up without some work on your part.
Fact: you don’t find courage; you build it.
Think about it this way: imagine you met someone who wanted to get stronger, and that person told you that they would go to the gym just as soon as they find their strong muscles. You’d think that person was a little crazy, right?
It’s the same thing with courage.
If you want to develop a skill or introduce a new habit into your life, then you’re going to have to build it up over time—to strengthen it through repetition, just like you would a muscle.
Sometimes, people think they can just take one crazy, courageous leap and experience major changes is their abilities. The truth, however, is that you are more likely to overwhelm your nervous system with this kind of random, overbearing change.
If your courage needs a boost, then you can’t expect it to skyrocket after just one courageous act—you need to take small bold, courageous actions every day.
To really develop deep-seated, lasting courage, you need to build it up consistently, over a period of a month or longer, and you need to push your edge of comfort little by little with every action, proving to yourself (slowly) that you can handle more than you think.
If confidence building is important to you, then your courage needs to be strengthened multiple times per week. If you’re doing it right, it should become a daily practice for you: find even one small opportunity to face something that scares you, and do it!
How do I know this works? Because I’ve seen it in action hundreds of times.
I’m constantly doing live events and private sessions, and if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that your results directly reflect the work (and risk) you put in.
This is not the time to put even more stock into the useless stories in your mind. It doesn’t matter if you feel incapable or weak or unmotivated or “past your prime.” This is the time to accept a new possibility.
It isn’t just the strong clients or the tall clients or the young clients or the successful clients who experience a transformation after practicing and putting in the hard work—it’s everyone! Regardless of your skillset, you absolutely have the ability to change your life through this work.
If you want this life change, however, you’re going to have to show up. If you want to get stronger, you have to lift weights . . . consistently. The pattern is simple as that.
The only thing that can stand in the way of a formula as foolproof as this is your own procrastinating.
If you’re the kind of person who will “wait” to find the courage you need to act, then what you need is a strong “WHY.”
Building courage takes heart—you have to really WANT IT. Hence, your reason for going after that courage has to be crystal clear in your mind.
Every great, “How?” needs a strong, “Why?”
Your reason for doing any great thing is the rope that keeps you connected to your motivation. It’s the lifeline that you can use to pull yourself along whenever you’re struggling or facing an obstacle.
Take a moment now and really get in tune with your reason for seeking greater courage and confidence. Maybe it’s something tangible, like wanting more professional recognition or seeking a more fulfilling social life . . . but maybe it’s just a feeling that’s driving you forward.
Whatever it is, you need to clearly recognize it so that you can access it easily at every moment.
Let’s face it: it is WAY easier to go turn on the TV and tune out the world than it is to face the challenges that will bring you true fulfillment—but that is what you need to do to change your life: face challenges. So, whatever inspires you and energizes your life pursuits, you need to harness it on a daily basis.
When you have a strong, “Why,” you can face any discomfort; you can stand up to life’s challenges and build your courage; you can create the life you really want.
Your future is waiting for you—but you’re going to have to go out and claim it!
Thank you for joining me today. As always, I invite you to subscribe to this blog so you can receive new content as it’s released. Please also take a moment to share your thoughts and questions in the comments below. What are some small steps you could be taking to build your courage starting today? What is your, “Why?” Let’s continue to offer our experiences so that we can learn from one another.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
- 3 Reasons You Feel Inferior (And What To Do About It) - June 28, 2021
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- How To Deal With Guilt About Speaking Up For Yourself - June 14, 2021