Learn The Key Piece To Being Able To Approach Anyone Anywhere
PUT BOTH FEET FORWARD AND JUMP IN HEAD-FIRST WITHOUT FEAR.
Do you suffer from the kind of social anxiety that keeps you from reaching out to new people? Are you always unsure of yourself when initiating contact with a stranger? Would you like to be able to walk up to anyone, anywhere, regardless of the setting, and start a conversation with confidence?
Today, I’m going to be sharing a key piece of information with you that will help you to more easily approach social chatter without fear.
This is s a huge topic that affects everyone. Most people, however, go about solving it in an ineffective way. When we think about starting a conversation with a stranger, the first thing we worry about is what we’re going to say: in the case of hitting on someone, we call this the “pickup line.” In a shocking turn of events, though, what we say in these moments is almost completely irrelevant.
When you want to approach a new conversation with confidence, the key factor that’s going to set you up for success isn’t your words—it’s your attitude.
For a long time, I dealt with social anxiety. I felt shy and awkward around strangers and always assumed that new interactions were going to go horribly. Hence, I would fear such interactions and avoid them at all costs, making up stories to get myself out of having to approach them:
- He’s obviously in a rush.
- They’re not my type of people.
- She’s probably got a boyfriend.
We even do this to ourselves at our workplaces, pretending that there’s no way we could have anything in common with any one of the 500 people we see every day.
This avoidance is completely based in fear—fear that will keep you from forming the relationships you want, achieving what you want to accomplish professionally, and generally going after what you want in life.
In order to find the success you seek in life, you have got to be able to connect with people, speak confidently with others, and step outside your comfort zone to approach the types of people you’d normally avoid. There’s just no way around it.
Nobody gets to skate through life only interacting with the few people who make them feel safe and loved.
We have to branch out and tackle new challenges if we ever hope to create a vibrant social life, meet the person of our dreams, and develop a professional contact list that could rival even the top players in our industries.
So, how do we push through that feeling of fear to achieve confidence in these interactions? The answer lies in the energy and frame of mind with which we approach the conversation.
Often, when we experience social anxiety (even at a minimal level) we approach new or intimidating conversations with a “one step forward, two steps back” mentality. We may put on a brave face, but inside, we’re still terrified of rejection—we’re physically stepping forward, but energetically, we’re turning tail and running for cover.
Believe it or not, that energetic negativity is obvious to everyone around you. When you approach a new interaction with apprehension, it affects your speech, body language, eye contact, everything. People can pick up on your mixed signals, and they don’t make a good impression—in fact, they make people uncomfortable at best.
In order to put everyone around you at ease, you have to allow your energy to match your intention. Think about it: when you speak with a new person, you don’t hope and pray that it goes terribly . . . so why act like that’s what you expect?
If you’re hoping for a conversation with some spark, then approach the situation assuming that such a reality isn’t just possible—it’s likely!
When we speak with someone, we can’t just meekly test the waters while staying safe on the shore—we have to be all in. We need to engage our full energy so that we can display our best authentic selves.
Now, as you begin to shift your mindset to engage more fully with others and put yourself out there, you may still encounter rejection—in fact, it’s almost a guarantee. This, however, has nothing to do with you!
Sometimes, we simply catch someone on an off day or at a bad time. That doesn’t make you a failure. It simply makes you a person who’s taking steps toward realizing that rejection isn’t the worst thing in the world. In fact, this is such an important part of the process that my program, 30 Days to Dating Mastery, is all about overcoming this fear of rejection so that you can create the relationships you want in your life. If you feel that you need a little practice and exposure to this concept, then this is the program for you! You’ll never truly approach new interactions with both feet facing forward until you learn to accept that rejection isn’t a mark of failure—so if you need support in this endeavor, check out this program and take a leap forward in your journey toward ultimate confidence!
In the meantime, however, you can begin this journey by committing to a positive attitude and fully engaged energy as you interact with others. Who cares if the other person doesn’t engage? You can’t control what other people do—the only thing you can control is how you view the world around you.
Let’s say you mention to a woman that you like her bag: even if she brushes you off with a “Whatever” response, at least you’ve put yourself out there and shown that you’re open to positive engagement. Maybe you didn’t make a spark with that one person, but without taking that chance, you risk missing your chance with the perfect woman because you never tried at all!
The effectiveness of this change in your approach to starting conversations with strangers will be noticeable in every situation from romance to business.
Whether you’re networking at a major work function or meeting a new group at a party, you will infinitely increase your chances of success if you can legitimately understand the symbiotic value of the encounter. You must believe that your friendship/influence/love is just as valuable to the other person as theirs would be to you. If your energy matches your intention, you will automatically exude value and charisma, opening yourself up to the most beneficial interaction and positive impression possible!
As always, I invite you to “like,” subscribe, and share your experiences with this work below. What holds you back from approaching new people? What have you done to move past the old excuses and allow yourself to approach conversations with both feet forward? Please share your own tips and tricks so that we can learn and grow together! Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.