How To Boldly And Freely Tell Women You Are Attracted To Them
Do you find that you don’t know what steps to take once you are interested in someone romantically? Should you approach her? If so, should you tell her you find her attractive?
These questions and many others were recently presented by one of our viewers, Mark Hemming . . . so today we’ll be shedding some light on this topic so that you can approach these issues with confidence, become more expressive, and create the love life that you deserve.
Now, when dealing with the subject of approaching an attractive woman, I always receive at least one comment shaming the desire to approach a female based solely on her looks. I must begin by addressing this concern:
- We are all (men and women) drawn to the people we end up dating based on some version of a first impression—how else are we supposed to even notice a potential mate, after all?
- While our first impressions of a person can be based largely on looks, our perception of appearance changes greatly based on both the energy that person carries and on the “eye of the beholder.”
Being attracted sexually to someone’s face and body is a trait that has been ingrained in us over eons and eons, so to try to deny that is to deny being human. Holding yourself to restrictive rules of attraction will only serve to make finding someone to love ten times more difficult, and it will squash any bit of passion and romance you have to offer.
So let go of all of that negativity surrounding your attraction to beauty . . . and if someone shames you about it, remind him or her that the human race is going to come to an end pretty quickly if we stop honoring our physical attractions altogether.
Now that we’ve taken care of that sidebar, on to the real discussion: how to approach the person to whom you are attracted.
First of all, admitting your attraction to someone is scary:
If I tell her I’m interested, she’ll think I’m desperate. If I tell her I think she’s beautiful, she’ll think I just want to sleep with her. If I tell her she’s sexy, she’ll think I’m a creep.
Yes . . . these are all risks when approaching someone you find attractive. As with everything in life, however, there’s a right and a wrong way to go about it—one way works; the other does not.
If you want to make a connection (i.e.: do it the right way), you need to be bold, authentic, and vulnerable. This is the only way to become charming, attractive, and compelling. If you are hiding or attempting to manipulate, the person is going to see right through it.
There is no reason that you cannot start doing this the right way right now. The potential is already in you.
Many times, clients of mine will approach me about how to broach an awkward topic with a friend or family member, or even ask how to approach a beautiful woman. Nine times out of ten, when I ask what they’d say if there were no fear of retribution, they already have the perfect words.
The obstacle in your path is not your inability to become vulnerable and honest—it’s your fear of becoming vulnerable and honest . . . and there’s only one way to overcome a fear of doing something: just do it.
“Wait . . . you want me to just walk up to a woman and tell her how I feel? No tricks?! No SCRIPT?!”
Yes. I know how intimidating this can be, believe me! But it actually is the only way to get yourself out of the dating rut in which you currently to find yourself.
If you feel as though there’s no way you could possibly take that first leap on your own, have no fear—I don’t intend on leaving you in the lurch. One way you can begin to tackle your fears with less intimidation is to try my module, 30 Days to Dating Mastery. In this program, you will be guided step-by-step through how to slowly work your way up to approaching women.
If you’re ready to jump in on your own, though, you’re probably wondering what comes next.
Let’s say you see a beautiful woman while you’re out shopping. There you are in a super market and you notice this complete stranger. What do you do?
There are about a million different ways to play this, and for just about every single one of them, there is a specific situation in which it would work perfectly—but there is only one that comes honestly from you.
Some people are able to walk right up to a perfect stranger and directly express how attracted they are to that person. It works for them. For me, personally, that is a bit forward. I’m a softy, so my honest approach is a bit more vulnerable and slower-paced.
There’s no one correct path to take—the only necessity is that you be honest and authentic.
If you do that, you have the best chance of finding someone with whom you can connect on a deeper level.
Once you begin to embrace this, you will find that it becomes easier and easier. Sure, I’m slow-paced, but I also took a chance and told my wife she had a sexy ass when we first met. I’m not one who can come right out and say that first thing, but once we had a rapport, I said it because it was my honest truth in that moment—I was being authentic . . . and she loved it.
You don’t have to connect with every single woman. Just be yourself, find your style, and be expressive. Do it on the very first date; the very first conversation.
One last note about this approach before I leave you: when bringing your authentic self to the table and becoming expressive, make sure you are conscious of your body language.
Are you a bit unsure, hands wringing, with shifty, nervous eyes? CREEPER.
At least that’s what she’ll think. You must approach the conversation with an energy that says you’re not ashamed about what you’re doing. Think about it: if you feel ashamed, she can see that, and it makes her think that you must have something to be ashamed about.
Get relaxed, keep your body language vulnerable, and look her comfortably in the eyes. Once you’ve expressed what you need to express, move on. If you think she’s beautiful, say so in your way, then take the pressure to respond off of her by moving the conversation forward or ending it politely and giving her some space.
Again, this is not going to work 100% of the time . . . because not every single woman in the world would be a good match for you. Take a chance, though, and you may find one who is.
There are about a million perspectives on the subject of approaching attractive strangers, so I’d love to hear what you think as well. Share your thoughts below so that we can all learn from each other. What do you think about this issue? What is your version of authenticity and vulnerability? If you’re a woman watching this, what are your thoughts? As always, feel free to “like,” subscribe or share via the links provided . . . and until we speak again, may you have the power to realize on a deep level that you’re awesome.