Hello, and welcome to The Art of Extraordinary Confidence. I’m Dr. Aziz, and my purpose here is to help you do one thing: to develop amazing new levels of confidence that can be accessed anywhere, anytime, and in any situation.
If you want to learn to banish fear so that you can feel completely certain of yourself, no matter what happens in your life, then you’ve come to the right place—because there are very few people in my position who will be completely honest with you about that goal: it’s unrealistic.
Today’s discussion is focused solely on realistic confidence, and learning to accept insecurity.
Fact: there is no such thing as perfect confidence.
I realize that I’m supposed to be “the confidence guy” who assures you without reservation that you can do or be anything you want . . . but the reality is that insecurity is a part of the process that leads us to our ultimate confidence, and we all must learn to deal with it.
Perfect confidence is a myth. Everyone—even that person from your life who always seems to have it together—experiences fear and anxiety at one time or another. Sadly, though, we tell ourselves that our perfect, infallible self is out there, and we create a fantasy in which we never get scared or anxious again.
Whether we like it or not, the human condition involves insecurity; it involves ups and downs; it involves questioning yourself and learning from your mistakes.
If you spend every waking moment expecting to reach some state of perfection, you’re going to go through life frustrated, disappointed, and anxious about your daily “failures.”
If, however, you accept that a certain amount of fear and anxiety is normal, then you will be far more likely to develop solid, real-world confidence that will sustain you through even the toughest moments in life.
We’ve all heard the many sayings pertaining to failure and persistence: “Success is not final, and failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts”; “There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them”; “What defines us is how well we rise after falling.”
Every successful person has had to overcome failure at some point and understands the importance of perseverance and tenacity.
The more you step outside your comfort zone, the more you’re going to experience the natural fears and insecurities that accompany that bold behavior . . . and that’s a good thing!
The more experience you gain with discomfort, the more you will learn to accept and grow from it.
Success is not about being emotionally perfect—it’s about being on your own side, and learning to work with emotional discomfort. It’s about working with your fear, finding the support systems that will help get you through it, and developing the courage to push the edge of your comfort again and again.
Will this ever provide you with invulnerability and perfect confidence? No, probably not. But it will give you the ability to create the life that you want as you take bold, decisive action on a daily basis.
So, what does extraordinary confidence look like for you? When do you get anxious, and how are you going to take care of yourself and learn to be on your own side as you work through it? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Not only do I love to hear about your journeys to ultimate confidence, but it also helps your peers learn and grow with you.
Until we speak again, you may have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome
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- Why Trying To Impress People Never Works (…And What To Do Instead!) - June 25, 2020