What If Their Thoughts About You Don't Matter?

Hey, welcome to today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy! It's Dr. Aziz and I'm excited to be with you. How are you doing today? Are you feeling free? Self-confident? On your own side? Capable? Inherently worthy? Or maybe not? Wherever you are today, that's okay.

Sometimes people think that if they've been listening to this show, reading my books, or practicing these concepts for a while, they’re supposed to feel confident all the time. And if they don’t, it feels like a personal failing. Let’s clear that up right now—there is no perfection here. Even after all these years of teaching this stuff, I can still experience self-criticism, anxiety, or worry. But I can also not run those patterns. The key is to have the potential for liberation where you can sometimes run those social anxiety patterns and sometimes not.

So today’s episode is titled "What If Their Thoughts About You Don't Matter?" This isn’t about forcing yourself to not care about what people think. Instead, we’re going to soften the clinging worry about others' thoughts and judgments.

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Imagine if you could feel free even if people have negative thoughts about you. What if their judgments don't matter so much? Today, we’re exploring that idea. Judgments often meet needs for certainty and significance. If we can see this with compassion and curiosity, we can start to liberate ourselves from the weight of others' thoughts.

Stay tuned as we dive deeper into this topic and, as always, thank you for being with me today. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.




Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by the fear of what others think about you? The constant worry about their judgments can be suffocating. But what if their thoughts about you don’t matter? Imagine the freedom you’d feel if you could let go of that fear. In today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into this very topic, offering insights that could transform your life.

The Trap of Social Anxiety

"Social anxiety patterns often involve hyper-focusing on yourself, imagining others are judging you, and trying to control the outcome to make sure people like you." This is a common experience for many professionals. The fear of judgment can lead to avoiding social interactions, which in turn increases feelings of isolation and disconnection.

Understanding Judgment

People’s judgments are often more about them than you. Dr. Aziz explains, "When someone judges you, they might be trying to meet their own needs for certainty or significance." Recognizing this can help you see that their thoughts don’t hold as much power as you might believe.

Think about an elderly relative who criticizes someone’s outfit. Do those judgments really matter? Probably not. Similarly, the negative thoughts others might have about you are often fleeting and inconsequential.

Shifting Your Perspective

To overcome the fear of judgment, Dr. Aziz suggests a shift in perspective:

  1. Identify Your Fears: Write down the judgments you fear the most. This could be fears of being seen as awkward, stupid, or desperate.
  2. Reflect on These Judgments: Consider if these are judgments you frequently place on yourself. Understand that others’ judgments often stem from their insecurities.
  3. Practice Exposure: Look at these fears and challenge their power over you. Recognize that everyone has judgments and that they don’t define you.

Embrace the Journey

Building confidence is a journey, not a destination. It involves taking consistent action, facing fears, and practicing self-compassion. Remember, the goal isn’t to eliminate fear but to learn to live with it and not let it control you.

Final Thoughts

What if their thoughts about you don’t matter? Imagine the freedom and confidence you’d feel. Start small, practice these steps, and gradually build your resilience.

For more resources, visit, where you can find free courses and tools to help you on your journey to confidence.

Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

Thanks for listening to Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz. If you know anyone who can benefit from what you've just heard, please let them know and send them a link to For free blogs, e-books, and training videos on overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to