Â
Most people who struggle socially don’t think of themselves as approval-seeking.
They think of themselves as thoughtful. Considerate. Aware of others. They notice tone. They read the room. They don’t want to impose. They don’t want to be “that person.”
And from the outside, that often looks lik...
Exposure Isn’t Enough: Why Recovery Is the Missing Ingredient in Confidence
A lot of people who come into my work are doing something right.
They’re taking risks. They’re putting themselves out there. They’re speaking up more. They’re pushing past avoidance. On paper, it looks like confidence shou...
The Right Thing Will Feel Wrong (And That’s How You Know You’re Growing)
A client said something recently that stopped me for a moment.
She told me she had finally done the thing she had been avoiding for years. She spoke up. She said no. She didn’t smooth it over or explain herself away. She stay...
There’s a subtle, almost invisible belief that quietly steals years—sometimes decades—from people’s lives. It shows up in different forms:
“I’ll start dating once I’m more confident.”
“I’ll speak up at work when I’m less anxious.”
“I’ll make a change when I’m ready.”
“I should work on myself more befo...
You Don’t Need to “Earn” Permission to Stand Up for Yourself
One theme that came up powerfully during a recent mastermind session was the idea of permission — specifically, the permission to stop tolerating things that don’t feel right.
And what struck me was this:
Most people don’t lack the abil...
Your Humanity Is Not a Liability
Inside a recent mastermind call, something powerful happened.
A man shared a story about playing the violin in front of others. The moment he began to feel shaky, nervous, and tense, he tried to hide it. He stiffened. He forced composure. He tried to “hold it toget...
The Story You Don’t Know You’re Telling
There’s a moment in nearly every coaching call where someone finally reveals the invisible thing that’s been gripping them for years.
Not their job.
Not their relationship.
Not their upbringing.
A story.
A sentence.
A belief.
A quiet conclusion they drew long ...
When most people try to become more confident, they focus on the surface level:
Speak louder.
Think positive.
Stand up straighter.
Stop caring what people think.
Push yourself to be bold.
And while some of these strategies can help in the short term, they never create lasting, embodied confidence — th...
Almost everyone I work with has the same secret fear — the thing they hope we can avoid or outrun:
Rejection.
Not just romantic rejection.
Not just being turned down for a job.
Rejection in the broader sense:
Someone doesn’t react the way you hoped.
A text goes unanswered.
A date fades out.
A coworker...
There’s a particular kind of confidence most people never learn — not from school, not from their parents, not even from self-help books or therapy.
It’s not the confidence to speak louder.
It’s not about pushing yourself to “be bold.”
It’s not about faking it until you make it.
This kind of confide...
There’s a moment in almost every client’s journey where they come to me frustrated, confused, and sometimes embarrassed. They’ll say something like:
“I don’t get it. I did everything right. I asked questions, I listened, I tried to be friendly… but it felt flat.”
And underneath that:
“What’s wrong ...
Your Fear Has a Name — And It’s Controlling More Than You Realize
If you’ve ever hesitated before speaking up…
If you’ve ever overthought a simple interaction for hours…
If you’ve ever wanted to set a boundary but froze…
If you’ve ever held back from doing something bold because something inside said,...