1 Secret Trick To Stop Caring What They Will ThinkMay 10, 2023
If you’re overly caught up in what they will think of you, I will share one secret trick you can use now and in your life.
That will help you reclaim a sense of power, freedom, and confidence. That way, you won’t think about what that person thinks.
You’d be amazed how much this influences you, even if it’s not over the fear of what they will think; it could be in the background. It just makes you a little more self-conscious, a little less comfortable in your skin, and a little less bold yourself.
I cannot wait to share this secret with you.
So what’s the secret trick that you can use?
When you are afraid of what they will think, you’re making one major mistake: you are deferring your reality to someone else, you’re submitting, you’re putting yourself in one down position to someone else’s perspective, and you’re saying, “I don’t know what I’m talking about, but whatever you think is right.”
That’s not just about a worldview or geopolitics or something. I’m talking about what they think of you. So if someone thinks you’re ugly, you might think, I guess you’re right. I’m ugly. Someone thinks you’re not worth their time, you think, I guess you’re right, I’m not worth anyone’s time, etc.
Some people are so concerned about what others think, and we get instantly wrapped up in the badness of our potential thoughts.
How many thoughts do people have in a minute? Regardless, we still react to it like it’s a threat. And we don’t realize that for it to be a threat, you must be making this mistake, which is to defer to their reality.
If I think that, then I guess that’s how it is. There’s no pausing and saying, “Wait a minute, wait a minute. What do I think?” That’s a secret trick. That’s what I call reclaiming your authority.
Authority means the power to make decisions, control things, and the dominance or being in charge. Your boss is an authority.
The principal is an authority figure. When you’re a kid, your parents are the authority figures. But now, as an adult, how old are you now?
I work with clients in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and they defer their reality to everyone around them. Younger people, older people, strangers. It’s like you. What do you think about me? Because that’s more real than what I think. They don’t even know you.
And so we got to come back to reclaim our authority. We have got to be about to say, “I know who I am. I know what I’m about.”
So the real problem here, though, is not what they think.
The real problem here is your self-esteem. Because if you say, “Oh my gosh, but I don’t know what I think about me. I think I am ugly. I think I am not worth people’s time.” If they think it too, and I think it, it must be true.
The truth is, the issue is not what they think. The issue is what you think and your perceptions of yourself. If you have a negative, encrusted, self-critical identity, you’re screwed.
Now, the good news is you can unscrew yourself by changing that. That’s not some permanent fixture or hardwired component of your nervous system or brain. That’s just a learned pattern.
That pattern serves a whole function.
But that’s why you’re so scared about what they think: you don’t know what you think. Either that or what you think is toxic, and it’s terrible. It’s your negative inner coach that you’ve been listening to and feeding for the last 10, 20, 30, 40, and 50 years. Until you change that, you will perpetually fear what they think of you.
It’s time to change that; it’s time to take a stand and reclaim your authority from out there and here.
You got to reclaim authority from that inner critic. Because of that inner critic, most people will think I suck. Where did that come from? It’s still just a part of you. It’s not reality.
The most important thing to take away from this is that you are the authority.
If you don’t feel like the authority in your life, it’s not because you’re not. It’s because of a misperception. I’m sharing these resources with you so you can change your perception, confidence, and life.
What do you find most valuable? And until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome!
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.