2 Secrets to Unlimited Confidence

I’d like to share the two biggest secrets to creating unstoppable unlimited confidence. I know that might sound a bit dramatic, but in this case, “unlimited” is actually quite possible. 

Because confidence is a muscle, and the more you use it, the stronger it gets. But what's even better about the muscle of confidence—versus physical muscle—is there's no limit. 

Confidence is not a tangible, physical thing. 

Confidence is a state of consciousness. It's a pattern of thought, focus, and emotion. It’s belief in your capacity and trust in life.

So what are the two key things that you can do right now to sustainably build this magic muscle?

Unstoppable Confidence Secret #1: Acceptance

While you may have read about acceptance before, and even have a good intellectual understanding of it, that does not mean you actually apply it or live it.

When you really get how absolutely essential acceptance is in every moment of the day for you to build the confidence that you want, something will shift inside.

I like to ask my clients this question:

What do you NOT accept about yourself right now? 

When I ask clients, there are at least half a dozen or more things that they can rattle off the top of their heads. 

“I get nervous in this situation. I don't like my hair. I don't like how I am at work. I’m not attractive. I don’t like that I get nervous”...

Right now there is a laundry list of things you don’t accept about yourself, which causes your confidence to hemorrhage.

Acceptance goes beyond just self-acceptance.

It also included acceptance of what unfolds when you step into the unknown, take bold action, and take healthy risks in life. This is the only way to build confidence, and without acceptance, taking those next steps can be quite freaky.

Clients will often say: 

I don't want to speak up in this way because what if my boss gets upset with me?

What if I have a conflict with somebody?

What if they say no to me and I get rejected?

All these scenarios that we're scared of—every single one of them—is an opportunity to practice acceptance. 

What if that person DOES say no to you? What if they do get upset? 

That is exactly where you need to practice acceptance. 

Unstoppable Confidence Secret #2: Action

While there is no singular silver bullet for eliminating social anxiety and building lasting confidence, if there were some sort of magic approach, it would certainly be action.

 What kind of action? The ones that scare you.

Do what scares you until fear has no power to stop you. 

Do what scares you in the service of something greater. 

Do what scares you so you can create something extraordinary with the short time that you have on this planet. 

 Because on the other side of all your fears is not just freedom and victory, it’s also your most authentic self.

 It’s you doing what you’re here to do, loving fully, connecting, creating magical moments and beautiful relationships, and a life of meaning and purpose.

Anything meaningful or worthwhile is on another side of fear. And so we must do what scares us. 

The key is to do this in a consistent, sustainable way. Not doing a crazy flurry of action, blowing yourself out of the water, and then being overwhelmed and quitting. Boo. 

Take actions in a sustainable way, bit by bit, leaning into the edge of fear as you practice acceptance of yourself and the outcomes that occur.

For extremely practical guidance and step-by-step actions that you can follow along with, I highly recommend my in-depth program, Confidence University.

Until we speak again, may we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.