8 Beliefs That Make You Shy

Feb 08, 2023


What are the beliefs that make you shy? 


There are eight beliefs that are making you shy. These are things that you believe about yourself, about other people, about relationships, and about life.


They’re also things that you believe that are making you feel hesitant, self-conscious, self-doubting, and are causing you to experience social anxiety.


By discovering what these eight beliefs that are making you shy are, you’re going to be able to start to see them in action.


This is a huge step in breaking free because then you can say: “Hey, this isn’t reality. This isn’t how it is. This is a belief that I have, and it’s a belief that I learned.” Therefore, it’s a belief that you can change.


So what’s making you shy and socially anxious? 


Here are the eight beliefs of shyness. 


  1. I am not attractive, interesting, funny, smart, calm, or cool enough. 


There are more adjectives I could add because it’s a fundamental identity, a belief about yourself. I am not those things. 


The result of this thinking is: if I’m not interested, what do I share about myself? 


Or if I think I’m not attractive, do I ask about that personality? 


Or if I think I’m not funny, do I make jokes? 


The answer to these questions is “No.” 


It is because you hold back, hesitate, avoid, and/or imagine rejection and disapproval. It stems from a poor perception of your identity, something that can change and is not even true. 


But these beliefs are not about truth. They’re about a cage of social anxiety. 


  1. Others will not like me. 


On some level, you believe that others will not like you when you walk into a room, a social situation, a party, a gathering, or a workplace environment. 


Wouldn’t it be interesting if your default belief was that others will like me


Wouldn’t the way you approach it be different? 


Can you see how that one belief can create shyness and social anxiety? 


  1. If I talk about myself, others will think I’m self-centered and annoying.


I used to never share about myself because I thought it would be egotistical, arrogant, and narcissistic, so I didn’t share or feel connected. Because of this, people didn’t feel that connected to me either.


Of course, I didn’t consider myself interesting because I wasn’t sharing about myself, and I told myself, you see, you’re not interesting. This created a vicious spiral.


  1. To get people to like me, I should just talk about whatever they want to talk about and do whatever I think they will. 


This bleeds into niceness and approval-seeking, and people-pleasing. 


Niceness is merely a more polished or more adaptive form of social anxiety. 


It’s the same thing with a different set of clothes on it—it’s the same fear underneath. 


  1. If I start a conversation with a stranger, they will think I’m creepy, annoying, or weird. 


Do you relate to this one?


People who can sense that I’m bothering people, my presence is annoying, etc. It’s a nuisance belief of shyness. 


  1. There’s something wrong with me. 


Normal people don’t have this problem. Have you ever thought or told yourself that? 


  1. I should be more outgoing, talkative, or social. 


As a result of this thinking, you berate and judge and feel bad about yourself,  


You might feel shame about yourself for who you are. 


Maybe you tell yourself, I’m not attractive, others will not like me, or if I start a conversation with a stranger, they will think I’m a creepy weirdo. 


If you experience these conflicting feelings, of course you’re not going to talk to people. 


Instead, you’ll think these other negative beliefs are true. 


  1. If a conversation goes poorly (I don't know what to say or I feel awkward)  it's my fault. 


That’s belief number eight. 


Can you relate to any of these eight beliefs? 


As you read about these eight beliefs, maybe you’re starting to tell yourself: maybe it’s not just my thoughts, or maybe other people think this too, or best of all, maybe this is just a negative perception that I can buy into but is not reality. 


If you want to break free from social anxiety fast, I highly recommend you go to and get my Five Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence


There's no reason to stay stuck feeling shy. My goal is not for you to realize and believe that this is permanent. 


My goal is hopefully to inspire you to say I can change these beliefs,” and you absolutely can. 


Until we speak again, may we have the courage to be who you are and know deep down that you're awesome. I'll talk to you soon. 

Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...

When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.

Discover Dr. Aziz's Confidence Mastermind