Decide To Be More Confident NOW

bold action social anxiety social confidence total ownership Aug 14, 2022

Are you yearning to gain more confidence in your life?

Do you wish you had the ability to walk into a new situation, no matter what it is, and know that you can handle it? 

Would you like to develop the ability to speak up more boldly and stand up for yourself in tough situations?

Do you think you deserve to feel strong and worthy even when being judged by others?

Today, we’re going to be discussing one simple tip that’s been a staple of my confidence development regimen for the last eighteen years. In fact, it’s so simple that you might think there’s no way it can be effective—but trust me: this one action has the potential to radically increase your confidence, even more than some elaborate psychological techniques you may have already tried.

What’s this simple action? 


Decide to be more confident.


If there’s one thing you learn after being in the psychological field for two decades, it’s that the simplest actions—done consistently—are usually the most effective.

This is something that I talk about a lot in my book, On My Own Side. Confidence is mostly about learning to talk to yourself differently: if you can learn to stop berating, criticizing, and judging yourself all the time—and not just that, but also to love yourself—then your confidence will naturally increase.

It’s about more than that, however: it’s also about forming new patterns of thought. You can only do that with consistent, committed repetitions of more positive affirmations.

Think about it like exercise: are you going to get fit or strong by going to the gym one time, or even once per week? NO! You have to go consistently and maintain the habit for a long time to see results.


Your mental health is no different.


With that in mind, take a moment to consider your usual frame of mind when it comes to your confidence: how do you treat yourself? How do you view other people’s opinions and judgments? How do you relate to life in general? Consider these questions, and then ask yourself honestly if it might be time for a change.

The point of this talk is to let you know that it’s that simple: all you have to do is make the decision to try something different.

Try it right now! Take a moment to center yourself, and say it out loud: I am going to do something different!

Saying it out loud matters. When you commit enough to say something out loud, it becomes a proclamation. This strongly affects your subconscious mind; it helps you to align with the new mindset; it changes you. Most importantly, it helps you to live more honestly in that statement.

Nobody wants to be a hypocrite.

When we say something, we want to be taken seriously—not just by others, but also by ourselves. We want to follow through on our words with actions. We want them to be congruent. By making a statement out loud, you’re affirming that this is a statement that you want to be held accountable for.

Say it out loud again: I’m going to do something different. I am deciding right now to be more confident.

So, you’ve said it. Now what?

Now, you keep going. Maybe later today or later this week, something comes up—you arrive at a difficult conversation, or you feel anxiety creep up about a scary situation, or you see someone you want to ask on a date—and you come back to that affirmation: I am going to do something different. I am going to be more confident.

Does this instantly solve all of your problems?

No, probably not. But you’ve taken a step; you’ve moved closer to the goal; you’ve laid the foundation for a new pattern of thought. More importantly, you’re taking action! You’re trying something new.

What has that old pattern of thought and behavior done for you so far? If you’re here reading this post, it can’t be much. You’ve taken up enough of your time with those old, outdated tactics.


By simply trying something new, you’re not just resetting bad habits, you’re allowing for the possibility of a new outcome.


Now, it is impossible to know what that outcome will be. Maybe something wonderful will happen, and maybe it won’t. Maybe you will get a rejection, and maybe you’ll meet the love of your life. The point is to discover the benefit of trying something new.

Will you have talked to yourself differently? Yes.

Will you have learned something? Yes.

Will you have gained a new perspective on life? Probably.

Trying something different doesn’t have to be all about being 100% confident—that’s just a piece of it. I can also be about approaching something in a new way. If you’re scared of the big meeting, maybe you can try focusing on the purpose of the meeting or the content you’re going to cover. If you’re nervous about a conversation, maybe you can think about why it’s important to have it and why that person is important to you. Once you’ve shifted your focus (or your approach), you’re no longer dwelling on yourself and all the anxiety you usually carry into that situation.

There are a thousand different ways you can go with this, but it all starts with that one decision—the decision to change.

After that decision, there is plenty of work you can do to move forward on your confidence journey, and you can find several resources on that front at There, you can score a free copy of my eBook, 5 Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confidence, plus live events, mastermind courses, in-depth programs, and more.

It has to start, however, with that universally important decision to make a change. If you can commit to that, you can accomplish any goal you set for yourself.

Please share your experiences with this work in the comments below. What change are you committing to? How has this new thought and behavior pattern affected your daily life? If you’d like to stay current on these videos, then hit the subscribe button to gain access to new content as it’s released. The more we immerse ourselves, the more we will work those confidence muscles, and the faster and stronger our self-assurance will develop.

Remember: the most powerful transformations stem from simple actions taken again and again over time.

Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.

Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...

When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.

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