Do This To Get More Respect InstantlySep 07, 2023
I want to share a simple tip you can use to have people treat you with more respect.
This applies to all situations, relationships at work, socially, or even at a restaurant, talking to the server, etc.
People will treat you differently when you do this.
What is this?
It eliminates your obsessive approval and gives signals to other people. If you’re a nice person, you’re doing this without even knowing it.
One example is your smile.
Before I get into the specifics of what you might be doing, there’s a feeling inside that you have that says, I want to make sure that everyone feels okay and feels good, liked, and loved.
I don’t want to make anyone feel like they’re not enough, that I’m upset with them, or that they’re not doing enough for me. Therefore, what am I going to do?
I will smile when I see them and say, “Hi, how’s it going?”
Then, when they’re talking, I’ll say to whatever they’re talking about, “Oh, yeah, I hear you.”
This will be followed by excessive agreement and nodding. We might start talking simultaneously, so I will say, “I’m sorry, you go ahead.”
I’m playing it up a bit here, but there are 1001 little gesture patterns you have when first meeting someone and interacting with someone and being around someone.
All of those resemble telegraphing loud and clear on a subconscious, energetic, and emotional level. You might not even realize it.
What you’re saying, however, is, I’m less than you, and I have to make sure that you’re not upset with me and that you like me.
Chimpanzees do this kind of grimace.
What does that signal mean to the chimps?
It means all is well. It’s a submissive gesture, Don’t be upset with me.
That’s what we’re doing all the time!
You’ve got to eliminate that.
You got to start to become aware of it and consciously change it.
A client on one of my group programs recently said, “You know what? I consciously stopped smiling so much when I would meet people.”
Because he’d meet people, and he’d started to have a more neutral expression as he listened to people.
What are your patterns?
Do you laugh a lot?
Here’s the thing. It’s not cruel or means to reserve liking.
I don’t know if I like you yet.
I don’t know if I agree with you yet.
I don’t know if we’re friends yet.
I don’t know if I want to date you yet.
Because you haven’t finished talking. The person you’re conversing with hasn’t spent any time with you.
I might have a theory or a feeling that I think I will be friends with this person, but I don’t know. So instead of jumping to the conclusion I should approve everything you say; instead, you should just wait.
Picture this: they’re talking, and you’re listening, and you might give some acknowledgement, but it’s way too toned down.
Then they finish, and you say, “Yeah, that’s interesting. I want to ask you about that.”
You pause, and they are still engaged with you. There’s still warmth in my presence. It’s just reasonable. But here comes the crunch. This feeling can leave you jacked up to ten. This, in turn, can become repulsive to the other person, who might decide to end the conversation.
What do you do to avoid this?
Become aware of what you see.
If you can make a list, what are the top, two, or even three things you do regularly?
Pick one of them and consciously turn it down from a ten to a five.
Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you are awesome.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.