How To Become Unfazed By Criticism
Mar 20, 2024How do you boost your courage so you can put yourself out there in a bigger way?
To start, what does putting yourself out there mean? It means something different to each of us, so let’s find out what it is for you.
Here’s a question I love asking people in my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind program:
If you had 100%, unlimited, unstoppable confidence to put yourself out there in any way, shape, or form right now, what would you do?
When I ask people this question, there’s always an answer, even if they’re kind of scared to say it. There can be a sense of excitement at the idea of boldly sharing in a bigger way, but also a cringing quality of fear and uncertainty…
Can I really share in that way? Is that allowed? Will it “work”? What will others think??
Forget about it working, or being the best, or impressing anyone.
Instead, focus on this:
What gifts do you have to give?
What form of expression would you want to give more space to right now, in this moment of your life?
Would you create something?
What would your creations be?
Is it music? Is it art? Is it singing? Is it pictures, or photography? Is it you saying your ideas more freely?
Is it some sort of expression that you could capture in video or audio or pictures and then share with the broader world online?
Is it writing that you could post somewhere in blogs or in books?
Or is it something in your career where you can put your ideas, your work, and your projects out there in the company or even in the broader industry that you’re in?
Oh, and let’s not forget about putting yourself out there in love and dating! Could you boldly show up—in person or online—with an attitude of: Here I am!
Here I am on this dating site, on this dating app. Here I am telling my friends, “Hey, I’m looking for somebody and this is the kind of person I’m interested in.”
Open up your mind to think about all the ways you can put yourself out there and pick one right now that excites you.
I know this can sometimes be a scary prospect, but try this for a moment.
Imagine you’re on the other side of it. You’ve already put yourself out there! How great does it feel to have completed that creation and got it out into the world? And heck, just for this thought experiment, imagine you get the greatest feedback in the world and people say, “Oh, we’re so glad you put this out here in the world and we love it and we love you and you’re the best!”
You might roll your eyes at that last one, but the reason I have you do this is to calm that fearful safety police in your mind that’s terrified of being judged or disliked.
It’s time to disengage from your fearful thoughts and connect with your true essence.
You are here to do more than survive with your head down, flying under the radar. You are meant to express and share and create.
So now that you have access to something you might do to put yourself out there, the question I have for you is… DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO IT?
I’m not asking whether you’re scared.
I’m not asking what your critic or your self-doubting voice thinks… what they are going to think of it, or if it’s good enough, if it’s going to work, and if people are going to judge you, and blah, blah, blah.
I’m not asking for any of that my friend.
I’m asking, do you have the courage to do it?
It’s a yes or no.
And your answer won’t be in words, it will be in your actions.
What if I never wrote any books, or created any videos, or wrote these blogs? What if I succumbed to the voice of my own self-doubt?
Courage is a willingness to do what scares you. You choose courage amidst the fear.
So if you’re scared to put yourself out there, join the club. That’s part of being human.
What are you afraid of?
Someone judging you, calling you stupid, saying your work is awful, saying you’re an amateur, you’re a loser, you’re a beginner.
Perhaps they say, “How dare you? How dare you put yourself out there? I don’t like you!”
They might say, “I don’t want to date you. I don’t want to hire you. I think your project is stupid, and your business idea is awful.”
What are you afraid of? It’s time to face those fears.
Courage comes from you claiming it right now.
You remind yourself, yes, I could fall, but it's worth it because I want to create this because it matters.
So…
Are you going to be in the game or on the sidelines?
If you’ve been choosing the sidelines, how long have you been on the sidelines?
How long are you willing to stay on the sidelines?
Does it bother you that your life is passing you by?
If it does, then you're agitated right now. Maybe, just maybe, that will be the grain of sand in your shoe that finally irritates you to step up and say:
I'm going to do something about this.
I'm going to do something about it today.
I'm going to put myself out there.
If you’re ready to leap into the unknown more powerfully than ever before, I encourage you to take the leap and apply for my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. It truly is an extraordinary group of humans who are supporting each other to become the most bold, authentic, expressive versions of themselves.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.