How To Overcome Your Fear Of Rejection FAST
Jul 03, 2024Are you trapped by a fear of rejection? This common fear can hold you back from being expressive, outgoing, and connecting with others. But overcoming it is simpler than you think. I'm Dr. Aziz, an expert in social anxiety and social confidence with a doctorate in clinical psychology and six bestselling books on the subject. In this article, I’ll share the fastest way to overcome your fear of rejection, reveal the pitfalls, and introduce the secret ingredient that will help you succeed.
Understanding Your Fear of Rejection
Fear of rejection, especially for those with social anxiety, is a phobia. A phobia is an excessive, emotion-based fear of something that is not truly threatening. People know their fear is irrational, but they still feel paralyzed by it. This is what happens with rejection. You know someone saying "no" won’t kill you, but it feels emotionally devastating and overwhelming.
David Burns, a world-renowned cognitive therapist, shared a story that illustrates the quickest way to eliminate a phobia. He worked with a man who had an irrational fear of monsters in his basement. Despite knowing it was irrational, the man was paralyzed by this fear. Burns told him to face his fear by going into the basement, keeping the lights off, and standing in the dark with open arms, saying, “Okay, monsters, come get me.” At first, the man felt terrified, but eventually, something shifted, and his fear dissipated.
Facing Rejection Head-On
To overcome your fear of rejection, you need to face it head-on. Many people try to build social confidence by interacting with others while avoiding rejection, like running in and out of the basement with the lights on. Instead, you need to embrace rejection.
“Rejection, come get me. Do your worst.”
When I work with clients, I have them purposefully seek rejection. They ask absurd questions like, “Can I have $100?” Knowing they’ll likely get a "no," they confront their fear directly. Surprisingly, many come back with stories of unexpected "yeses." But the key is to seek rejection, get those "noes," and become desensitized to them.
Changing Your Perception of Rejection
The secret ingredient to overcoming rejection is changing how you perceive it. When someone says "no," we often translate that into, “I’m a bad human. No one will ever like me.” This irrational belief is what makes rejection so terrifying.
Change the language: Don’t call it rejection; call it getting a "no."
I don’t get rejected. I get "noes" all the time, but I don’t internalize them as rejections. Rejection is a dramatic term that often means self-hatred and bad feelings. By seeing a "no" as just information, you remove its power to hurt you.
Taking Action
To practice this, start by seeking out "noes." Ask for things you expect to be denied. This desensitizes you to rejection and helps you see that a "no" isn’t the end of the world.
If you want step-by-step guidance on how to change your perceptions and handle rejection, check out my at-home study course, Confidence University, at draziz.com. The course offers lifetime access to four modules, including "The Ultimate Confidence Breakthrough," which guides you through changing your perceptions and practicing rejection exercises.
With these tools, you can break free from the cage of social anxiety and unlock a world of opportunities.
Final Thoughts
Overcoming the fear of rejection involves taking scary but liberating actions. By changing how you perceive rejection and actively seeking out "noes," you can transform your fear into confidence.
Share what you found most valuable in the comments below. Until we speak again, have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you are awesome.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.
GET YOUR FREE CONFIDENCE MINI-COURSE NOW!
Unleash Your Inner Confidence Today!
Click On The Button Below To Get Your FREE Mini-Course Right Now!
GOT CONFIDENCE?
Confidence University is the culmination of all my years of work assisting others with overcoming social anxiety and building unstoppable confidence in its place. It's the next best thing to work with me one-on-one.