Increase Your Risk Rate To Skyrocket Your Confidence Quickly

May 24, 2023

I'm gonna teach you one thing that you can do that's gonna boost your confidence. 


To talk about it we're talking about golf. 


I don't actually play golf, but this is exactly how golf, or any other sport, instrument, or skill, works. 


Let's say you didn't play golf either, and you and I said, "We should be golf buddies," but the problem is, neither of us played golf. 


So what do we need to do? 


Well, you'll have to have lessons. You will have to find someone to give you a lesson. 


Where is that person going to take you? Are they going to take you out on the golf course? No, they're going to take you to the driving range. And what do you do when you go to the driving range? You buy a bucket of balls.


You buy one ball, and the instructor says, "All right, here's your one ball for today; I will teach you everything you need to know." 


You stand like this. You put your butt out, your arms back like that, and then whack. “Oh, yeah, you didn't hit that ball. Well, go home!”


I guess you're not going to be a golfer, right? 


That's absurd. We know. It's kind of stupid when I use that metaphor. 


But the same thing happens with an instrument. You pick up the guitar and try to play me a song. Well, give me that guitar back. You're never going to be a guitarist. Shameful. 


But this is exactly what we do when building our confidence. 


Unfortunately, that same theory is a learned skill, that all I gotta do is put my energy and focus into it, and I will get it. 


The best way to get it is to get a bucket of balls. 


In the realm of confidence, what that can be described as is something that I call your risk rate


So if you want to become more confident in any area, conversations, dating, and relationships, whether it's public speaking, selling, or anything, the best thing you can do right now is to get yourself a bucket of balls and start whacking at them. 


Now, of course, you can learn along the way. 


You can get lessons, and you can get some feedback. You can get someone that videos your swing and tells you some things. That's going to accelerate the process. 


However, it doesn't matter how many videos you watch about how to hit a golf ball far on YouTube—you won't get very good at it until you've swung 1,000 times or more, probably much more than that, to get good. 


It's the same thing with increasing your risk rate when building anything you want in your life. 


If you want to get better at talking to people, you have to take many risks to talk to people. 


In the olden times, 400 years ago, when I was building my confidence in dating, I remember spending many years of my life in the cage of social anxiety. 


I was never going to talk to a woman. No way, no how. Then, at some point, I reached that threshold moment, that breaking point, where I was like, I got to do something. 


I started on this path that I'm on. 


I needed to go out and gasp, talk to women, real women in the world. It was terrifying. I would say, "I'm going to go talk to her, and then I'm going to talk to her." And I would, in the course of an afternoon, try to talk to four or five women. 


It was an interaction. That, to me, felt like a risk. 


Eventually, the risk might be to flirt a little bit, or the risk might be to ask for a number or contact information. 


There are different risks, but increasing the risk rate, because if your risk rate is far apart, you can't see my other arm, let's put it out even further. That's like driving to the range, hitting one golf ball, and then driving home. It's pointless. 


And so, to make the change you want, you must increase your risk rate. 


I know what I'm saying might not be radically new information for you. That's not the point. The point is to share what works. 


And so, when I'm working with a client and assessing if they're making great progress, we'll build on that. 


But for anyone getting stuck, one of the first things I'm looking at is their risk rate. 


Maybe they have a story about why they can't take risks, another story about why it's not going to work out, or another story about. We do some work to dismantle those stories. 


But at the end of the day, I'm watching their risk rate metrics. 


So increase your risk rate, and if you're having a hard time with that, you might need to take things further. 


I certainly needed more help in my life to get to where I am, and if you want that, I would love to support you in that way. 


If you're just telling yourself, "I'll do it later," or "It's too hard," or "I can't," you're never going to play golf, although never playing golf is probably not that bad for your life. 


But never having confidence, freedom, or the love and connection you want in my book, that's unacceptable. 


If it's unacceptable in your world, too, then let's go out there and do something. 


Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome!

Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...

When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.

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