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Social Anxiety + Avoidant Attachment = Good Times

anxiety awareness attachment styles avoidant attachment emotional wellbeing healing together mental health matters mindful living navigating relationships self growth journey social anxiety struggles Oct 10, 2024

 

Do you struggle to connect with others? Maybe your conversations feel superficial, or you have a hard time sustaining friendships or romantic relationships. You’re not alone. Many professionals experience this challenge, believing they’re somehow "broken" or "crazy" when it comes to forming deeper connections.

"You're not broken, you're not crazy, and you're not alone."

Hi, I’m Dr. Aziz, founder of the Center for Social Confidence and a former "avoider" in relationships. I know exactly what it’s like to deal with social anxiety and avoidant attachment. Let’s break down these patterns and, most importantly, explore how to overcome them for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

 

The Two Biggest Obstacles: Social Anxiety and Avoidant Attachment

  1. Social Anxiety: Fear of Rejection Social anxiety creates an overwhelming fear of rejection that makes it difficult to connect with others. You imagine that others will reject you, and this stops you from reaching out, sharing who you are, or forming deeper bonds. This fear of rejection creates isolation, leaving you feeling disconnected and alone."Social anxiety is a fear of rejection, convincing you that others won’t like you or that something is wrong with you."If you’ve ever walked away from a social situation or conversation feeling like you didn’t reveal much about yourself, this could be your social anxiety at play. The good news? You can overcome social anxiety by slowly facing those fears and taking small, consistent steps toward connection.
  2. Avoidant Attachment: Fear of Closeness Avoidant attachment emerges as you get closer to someone. Even if you’re able to start dating or develop friendships, a fear of deep connection makes you want to pull away. It’s as if an emotional "repellent" activates, making you feel trapped, smothered, or panicked when someone gets too close."Avoidant attachment isn’t about not wanting connection—it’s about fearing what will happen when you get close."This fear could come from a worry that you’ll be abandoned, smothered, or lose your sense of self. But just like social anxiety, avoidant attachment is a pattern that can be changed with practice.

 

Breaking Free from Avoidant Attachment

To overcome avoidant attachment, you need to develop two key skills:

  1. Set Healthy Boundaries: Practice tuning in to what you want. If someone asks to hang out on a Friday night, take a moment to ask yourself what works for you. If you don’t want to go, practice setting a boundary: “I’ve got plans on Friday, but how about Sunday?” This helps you stay connected while maintaining your autonomy.
  2. Be Authentically You: The more you allow yourself to be truly seen, the less you’ll feel that panicky need to pull away. Start small, gradually letting people know who you are, and you’ll discover that connection doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.

 

You Can Build Healthier Relationships—Starting Now

Whether you’re battling social anxiety or struggling with avoidant attachment, the path to healthy, fulfilling relationships is within your reach. It’s about practicing, setting boundaries, and letting yourself be seen.

"The more you let yourself be seen, the more you’ll break free from fear and experience real connection."

 

Want more tools to overcome these challenges? Head to DrAziz.com and explore my free mini-course, 5 Steps to Unleash Your Confidence. You’ll get practical tips and techniques to help you build confidence and move toward the authentic, connected life you deserve.

Until we speak again, remember to have the courage to be who you are and know that deep down, you are truly awesome.

Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...

When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.

Discover Dr. Aziz's Confidence Mastermind