Stop Gaslighting Yourself
Mar 05, 2025Have you ever found yourself trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, second-guessing your feelings, or feeling like you're not where you should be in life? If you have, you’re not alone. In today’s blog post, I’ll be sharing how self-gaslighting is likely playing a bigger role in your life than you realize—and more importantly, how to break free from it to reclaim your authentic confidence.
"You are not confused, you're clear. There's just another part of you that's gaslighting the clarity." – Dr. Aziz
What Is Gaslighting, and How Does It Apply to You?
You’ve probably heard the term "gaslighting," often in the context of toxic relationships where someone manipulates you into doubting your own perception of reality. In essence, gaslighting makes you question your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
But here's the kicker: the biggest gaslighter in your life might not be someone else—it’s you. Yes, if you’re a “nice person” or someone who is overly concerned with pleasing others, you’re probably engaging in this behavior against yourself.
Key Concept: Gaslighting Yourself to Stay in Control
When you try to avoid conflict or please others by disregarding your own feelings, you’re engaging in self-gaslighting. This could look like rationalizing staying in a toxic relationship because, deep down, you fear rocking the boat. Or, it could manifest as ignoring your own desires in favor of what others want, all because you don’t want to disappoint them.
For example, you may feel unhappy in a relationship but quickly suppress that feeling, convincing yourself that you're being too sensitive, or that “relationships take hard work” so you should just push through it. What you’re doing is ignoring your gut feelings, and in doing so, you allow your internal critic to silence your needs.
Why Does This Happen?
Self-gaslighting occurs for a simple reason: the desire to preserve the status quo. It feels safer to stay in a role that’s familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. Whether it’s staying in a toxic relationship, in a job that drains you, or in a social situation that doesn't serve you, you’re gaslighting yourself into believing you can’t or shouldn’t make a change.
"The relationships suck, people are taking advantage of them... but you can't just burn it all to the ground and start again. If you don't change the inner pattern, you'll recreate the same thing." – Dr. Aziz
How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself
Here’s the truth: you are not a victim of your own mind. The key to breaking free from self-gaslighting is learning to listen to yourself and take your feelings seriously.
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Get Curious About Your Inner Voice: Instead of shutting down your thoughts or feelings, ask yourself why you feel a certain way. What does your gut tell you? What does your body feel when you're in a specific situation? Stop silencing your inner champion.
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Challenge the Lies You Tell Yourself: When you feel the urge to suppress your own voice or rationalize something that doesn't feel right, stop and ask: What’s the real agenda here? Am I avoiding discomfort to stay in my comfort zone, or am I truly listening to my needs?
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Create Guardrails Around Self-Doubt: Once you become aware of the voices that gaslight you, set boundaries. Remind yourself that you have every right to stand up for what you need, even if it disappoints others.
Final Thoughts: Embrace Your Authentic Self
The road to confidence starts with understanding and honoring your true feelings. Stop letting self-doubt control you and instead, make the choice to listen to your inner voice. It's time to break free from the unhealthy patterns that are holding you back.
The power is in your hands, and it's up to you to choose authenticity over fear. The moment you start trusting your own thoughts and feelings, you'll begin to make choices that align with the life you truly want to live.
You dare to be who you are. And deep down, you are awesome.
Remember, true freedom and confidence come when you stop gaslighting yourself and embrace the power of your truth.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
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