APPLY NOW!
 

Stop Trying To Be Perfect

authentic living authentic self embrace flaws others opinion perfectly imperfect real unfiltered stop pleasing Jan 16, 2025

If you're someone who constantly feels like you're falling short—whether in your career, relationships, or personal life—it might be time to stop chasing the idea of being the best. I know, this might sound controversial, especially in today’s culture where success and excellence are often measured by who’s the best. But trust me, letting go of this pressure could be the game-changer for your confidence and self-esteem.

The Pressure of Being the Best

Let’s be real: no matter what you do, there’s always going to be someone who’s better at it. Whether it’s in your career, your fitness, or even in dating—there’s always someone who is faster, smarter, or richer. And if you’re constantly comparing yourself to those people, your confidence will remain deflated.

Trying to be the best is a recipe for perpetual disappointment. You're always going to feel like you're falling short. It’s exhausting to keep up with an ideal that doesn't leave room for growth or imperfections. The truth is, no one can be the best at everything, and the moment you let go of this impossible standard, you're free to embrace your authentic self.

"Trying to be the best is death to your confidence. You're not going to be the best at anything—except for one thing: being yourself."
 

The Danger of ‘Be Your Best Self’

The phrase “be your best self” might sound like a healthy goal, but let’s unpack it for a moment. What does it really mean? For many, it’s about being the best version of themselves, which often includes being the richest, the most disciplined, the most attractive, the most productive. Sound familiar?

But here's the catch: just like trying to be the best, striving to be your best self can set you up for the same letdown. If you're constantly looking for a version of yourself that’s perfect and extraordinary, you’ll find yourself stuck in a cycle of perfectionism, measuring your worth based on an unattainable standard. And this leads to a feeling of "not enough"—even when you're achieving things.

Instead of striving to be the best or your best self, what if you simply focused on being present and embracing progress?

 

The Freedom of Being Average

Here’s the radical truth: you don’t have to be the best, and you don’t even have to be extraordinary. It’s okay to be average. Letting go of the constant pressure to “improve” and “compete” frees you to enjoy the process of living and growing, instead of living in a state of constant self-criticism and frustration.

I remember reading a chapter in a book by David Burns, a mentor of mine, called Feeling Good—a chapter called “Dare to Be Average.” At first, it didn’t resonate with me. I thought, “That’s for losers. I’m going to be great!” But now, 20 years later, I get it. Being average doesn’t mean you’re settling for mediocrity; it means you’re releasing the need to prove yourself constantly.

"When you let go of the pressure to be the best, you start to embrace who you really are and love yourself along the way."
 

What You Can Do Right Now

Here’s your action step for today: embrace where you are. Take a deep breath, and realize you don’t have to be the best at everything. You just need to be your authentic self, show up as you are, and embrace progress over perfection.

Start small: think of something you're "just okay" at—maybe it's a hobby, a skill, or even a social situation. Instead of beating yourself up for not being extraordinary at it, allow yourself to enjoy the process and relish the simple fact that you're showing up. That’s where the magic of confidence happens.

So, what are you average at? What can you enjoy about that?

Let me know in the comments, and remember: You are awesome just as you are. You don't need to be the best—just be true to yourself.

Now go out there, be yourself, and feel the relief of not having to be perfect.

Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...

When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.

Discover Dr. Aziz's Confidence Mastermind