Talk To Yourself Like This For 3 Days To Transform Your Confidence
Apr 17, 2025Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough," "What if they don’t like me?" or "I can't do this"? If you have, you're not alone. Many of us struggle with these thoughts, but what if I told you the way you talk to yourself could change your confidence level—and it can happen fast?
In this post, we're diving into one of the most powerful tools to combat social anxiety and boost your confidence: how you talk to yourself in your head. This might sound simple, but when done right, it can have a profound impact on how you show up in your life—socially, at work, and in your relationships.
Why Your Self-Talk Matters More Than You Think
Your inner dialogue isn't just a random collection of thoughts—it reflects your relationship with yourself. If you constantly criticize yourself or focus on your flaws, that energy leaks out into everything you do. On the other hand, when you become your own biggest supporter, you start to see opportunities where you once saw obstacles.
“Your self-talk is a reflection of your relationship with yourself. When you change that, everything else changes.”
I’ve spent over two decades helping people build real confidence, and a huge part of that journey is transforming how they speak to themselves. For many, self-talk has become a toxic coach in their head, feeding them lies about their worth, their abilities, and what’s possible for them. But you don’t have to listen to that voice. The key is to fire your toxic coach and replace it with a supportive, encouraging one.
How to Change Your Self-Talk and Build Confidence
So, how do you make this change? The first step is awareness. Notice how you speak to yourself, especially when you’re about to step into something challenging or uncomfortable. Is your inner voice encouraging you, or is it feeding you doubts and fears?
One of the most powerful ways to shift your self-talk is to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. Imagine your best friend is struggling with the same challenges you face. What would you say to them? Would you tell them they’re not good enough, or would you remind them of their strengths and potential?
“Imagine you’re talking to a friend. What would you say to them? Now, say that to yourself.”
It’s easy to give others encouragement, but many of us find it hard to offer the same kindness to ourselves. If you’re struggling to change your self-talk, start by writing down positive affirmations that you would say to a friend. Then, say them to yourself in moments of doubt. Over time, these affirmations will become part of your default mindset, and you'll begin to see yourself through a more empowering lens.
The Power of Action: Boost Your Confidence by Taking Risks
But self-talk alone isn’t enough. Confidence is a byproduct of action. It’s easy to wait for the feeling of confidence to magically appear, but that’s not how it works. Instead, take action—even if you feel scared, nervous, or unsure. As you take action, you’ll gather evidence that you can handle challenges, which will naturally build your confidence.
Dr. Aziz calls this “acting through fear”. By taking risks—whether it’s initiating a conversation, giving a presentation, or asking for what you want—you begin to challenge the negative beliefs that hold you back.
“Confidence doesn’t come from thinking about it; it comes from doing it.”
The Secret to Fast Confidence: Embrace Your Vulnerability
As you work on transforming your self-talk and taking action, remember that vulnerability is a strength. It’s okay to feel scared or unsure; those feelings don’t define your worth. In fact, vulnerability is often the very thing that connects us to others and makes us more authentic and relatable.
Today's action step is to become aware of your self-talk and choose to speak to yourself as you would speak to a friend. Replace the critical voice with one that uplifts and encourages you. Start practicing this today—in small moments and big ones—and watch your confidence grow.
Remember, it’s a journey. Confidence is not something you achieve overnight, but it’s something you build one step at a time. Keep showing up for yourself, and know on a deep level that you are worthy, capable, and awesome.
The power to change your life is in your hands, starting with how you talk to yourself.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.
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