The Secret To Unconditional ConfidenceJan 25, 2023
Is unconditional confidence possible?
My answer is “yes, it's possible”.
But you are probably wondering, what is unconditional confidence?
Let me give an example of what conditional confidence is.
I was working with a man called Jerry, and he seemed confident, especially when he was at work and sharing his ideas and doing other things.
However, his confidence was based on his position, income, power, and status.
He didn’t realize this until one day, he got laid off, and it shattered his world—he felt worthless, ashamed, and like he was nothing.
But what might have seemed like the worst thing that happened in his life turned out to be the best thing.
Because he came to work with me, and he realized something very important. I thought I was a confident person, but I’m not.
He realized his confidence came from his previous job—his confidence was conditional.
The question I have for you is:
What are the conditions for you to feel confident?
Is it your job?
Is it someone who likes you and responds positively to you?
Is sexual attention, energy, or something from something you’re attracted to?
Whatever the conditions are, maybe achievement of certain goals, looking a certain way, or having a certain physique, etc., even if it’s things that seem healthy or worth striving for, there’s a problem—the seed of your own confidence is destroyed there.
Because while you might feel great as you achieve more, earn more money from your career, or have a better body, this feeling is TEMPORARY because you’re not always going to win.
You’re not going to always get the win, the next job, or the next promotion.
You might get laid off. You might get divorced, or things might happen in life that are hard and painful, and you will inevitably lose things.
That’s why you need unconditional confidence.
Unconditional confidence is where you unhook your sense of self-worth and develop a right to feel confident and love yourself.
It comes from a core decision that you can make right now to be on your own side and to say, “I am worthy no matter what.”
This is a mantra that I’ve used myself, and I recommend it to client:
I AM WORTHY NO MATTER WHAT.
Say that to yourself right now and notice how true it feels. One to ten, how true does it feel to say, “I am worthy right now”?
If the answer is “That sounds good, but honestly, it feels like the two do not feel true at all,” WORK ON THAT.
Find what self-judgment or grudge you’re holding against yourself or what perfectionistic standards you judge yourself by. Release those things one by one.
Get on your own side and come to a place where I am worthy no matter what.
When you do that, not only do you feel better in the moment, but the ups and downs of day-to-day life do not disturb you so much because you’re worth it, not on this roller coaster.
If you’re finding this valuable and you want to go further with this, you might be wondering, how exactly do I do this? If you want to find out more, go to the Confidence University.
Make the decision right now to own your worth, no matter what.
If you do that, big things will start to shift in your life.
May we have the courage to know that you're awesome.
Be on your own side no matter what, and fully BE YOU in every place that you show up in the world.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.