The Secret To Unconditional Confidence
Apr 24, 2024Is unconditional confidence possible?
My answer is yes.
Unconditional confidence. Do you know what that means? Let me show you what conditional confidence is.
Here’s an example: I was working with a man called Jerry, and he seemed confident, especially when he was at work and sharing his ideas and doing other things. But his confidence was based upon his position, income, power, and status.
He didn't realize it until one day when he got laid off, and it shattered his world. He felt worthless. He felt ashamed. He felt like he was nothing.
It might have seemed like the worst thing that happened in his life was actually the best thing because he came to work with me, and he realized that I thought I was a confident person, and I wasn't. My confidence came from this. His confidence was conditional.
The question I have for you is:
What are the conditions for you to feel confident?
Is it your job? Is it that someone who likes you responds positively to you? Is that you get sexual attention or energy or something from something you're attracted to?
Whatever the conditions are, whether they’re achievement of certain goals or you look a certain way in the mirror, or you have a particular body physique or something, whatever it is, even if it's things that seem healthy or worth striving for, there's a problem.
There's the seed of your own confidence destroyed there. Because you might feel great as you achieve more and earn more in your career, or you got a better body or more people and have sex with you. Yes, absolute power. That's awesome. You're on the upswing.
But guess what? That's TEMPORARY because you're not always going to win.
You might get laid off. You might get divorced. You might have stuff happen in this life that's hard, that's painful, where you lose things.
That's why we need unconditional confidence.
Unconditional confidence is where you unhook your sense of self-worth and that you have a right to feel confident and love yourself and be on your own side.
That doesn't have to be based on anything. In fact, that comes from a core decision you can make right now to be on your own side and to say, “I am worthy no matter what.”
This is a mantra that I've used myself, and I recommend it to clients. I AM WORTHY NO MATTER WHAT. Just keep saying to yourself—say that to yourself right now and notice how true it feels.
On a gut-level scale of one to ten, how true does it feel to say, “I am worthy right now.” If the answer is That sounds good, it feels like the two do not feel true at all, WORK ON THAT.
Find what self-judgment or grudge you hold against yourself, and what perfectionistic standards you have. Release those things one by one. Get on your own side and come to a place where you are worthy no matter what.
Because when you do that, not only do you feel better in the moment, but the ups and downs of day-to-day life do not disturb you so much because you're worth it.
If you find this valuable and want to go further with this. You might be wondering, how exactly do I do this? In my program, the Confidence University, we have an entire course on how to build solid confidence and then how to do it in core areas of your life, like social, dating, relationships and career.
If you want to learn more about that, go to Confidence University. Own that you're worthy no matter what. If you do that, big things will shift in your life. We can all learn from each other and all rise together.
May we have the courage to know that you're awesome. Be on your own side no matter what, and fully BE YOU everywhere you appear in the world.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.
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