Two Unpleasant Signs You're Getting More ConfidentJun 15, 2023
Becoming more confident is great. As you increase your confidence, you can be bold, connect better, become more successful, and be sexier.
But did you know that as you become more confident and more expressive and more you in the world, unpleasant things happen as well?
I want to share two of those with you right now because you can interpret them as bad when they occur for you.
1.) Someone gets upset with you and tells you about it.
That’s a sign that you’re getting more confident.
Why is this the case?
Because when you’re living in people-pleasing mode and anxiety mode, and I’ll do whatever you want and be whoever you want me to be mode, you are not living your life and, therefore, suffering inside.
That’s what you want to change.
When you start to break that habit, it’s just a habit. It’s not who you are. It’s not how it has to be. It’s not your destiny. It’s just a habit.
When you start to change that habit, someone will inevitably say, “I don’t like that you said that,” “I don’t like that you did that,” or “I don’t like this.” And then you might be like, “Oh no, should I not have done it? And is this okay, or is this not okay?”
Yeah, that’s going to happen.
That means I am being expressive enough, real enough, and putting myself out there enough that someone could not like me.
Then they will tell you about it, whether it’s verbally or they write something about you, etc.
The bigger you get, and the more you put yourself out there in whatever way, shape, or form, the more people might dislike you and tell you about it. But that’s a good thing.
2.) Not only does someone like you, but there’s going to be some repercussions from that.
This one is really unpleasant.
People are going to tell someone else at your workplace that you’re bad.
Or maybe someone will break up with you or want to break up with you, or someone will say they’re going to tell people bad things about you and your business etc. In other words, someone gets upset and then wants to do something negative to you.
What if it’s inevitable when you’re being bold yourself?
What if it’s not your responsibility to make sure that everyone in the world feels totally comfortable with everything you’re doing and that no one ever gets upset?
No one ever wants to do something to stop you or to harm you or have some consequence for you because they think that what you did was so bad and wrong.
But if you zoom out and look at it, underneath is this belief that says, no one should ever be upset with me, and no one should ever want to express that upset in unpleasant ways.
But guess what? People do.
The more that you’re you, the more you might have those exchanges.
There are several different options for that. One is to try to be super nice and avoid that forever.
Option two is to bring it on.
This is what I’m here to do: I’m going to express myself; I’m going to put this out there.
If I get a negative review on a video of mine, that’s a sign that I’m putting myself out there.
If someone said that they reported my channel because my video was so bad, or someone said that they reported my email spam because I sent too many emails, etc. That's a sign that I’m putting myself out there.
Be you in whatever way, shape, or form, and do not let someone detract from that because they didn’t like it.
This is very counterproductive to the nice way of living, but it is a sign of your own growth.
It’s inevitable if you keep being bolder and bigger. Because there’s a flip side to all this: not only do you experience these unpleasant things, but you also get more than you could ever imagine of connection and relationship and success and breakthroughs and opportunities and wealth.
Everything comes with that.
Are you willing to experience something unpleasant in the pursuit of the extraordinary?
Until we speak again and may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.