Warning: Your Worst Confidence DrainNov 17, 2022
Are you draining your confidence right now without even knowing it?
In fact, a better question is:
How are you draining your confidence right now?
I'll bet you a bitcoin that you are, in this moment, draining your confidence in some way. Nothing against you personally, I think we all do that on some level. The key here is to become more aware so you can choose differently.
Since we’re talking about drains, let’s use the metaphor of a cup for your confidence container.
Imagine your confidence is the liquid that fills a cup. The more full it is of water, the more confidence you have.
If you are able to sustainably keep the water level in this imaginary confidence cup high, then you will feel better throughout the day.
And, obviously, draining out your confidence liquid is no bueno.
Two Ways To Keep Your Confidence Cup Topped Off
- Pour Confidence Into The Cup.
This is what most people think of when they imaging “building” their confidence. You can take bold action since confidence is a byproduct of action. You can learn how to improve the way you talk to yourself, treat yourself, and give yourself positively, nourishing messages, like someone you love and care about.
This concept is called On My Own Side or OMOS and I have an entire book I’ve written on the subject if you’d like to learn more.
- Stop Shooting Holes In Your Cup!
Imagine a cup that's got a bunch of holes in it. Have you ever tried to fill a spaghetti strainer full of water? Not much is staying in there...
So the more holes you have, the more confidence drains you have, and the harder it is to stay confident, no matter what action you take, no matter what great outcomes you have, and no matter how positive you talk to yourself.
In order to be fully confident in yourself, you must stop the patterns that drain your confidence.
I have an important question for you: What is your biggest confidence drain?
Because the first step to plugging those holes and stopping those drains is to look at it honestly and say “Hey! there's a hole right there.”
Without this awareness, you can jus feel low in your confidence or simply “bad” without really knowing why or what’s happening. You might even just conclude: I guess this is how it is. This is who I am.
Which is the worst conclusion you can draw. The truth is you're just hemorrhaging confidence somewhere.
Common Confidence Drains
- Endlessly harassing yourself (being highly self-critical and repeatedly judging yourself.)
- Catastrophizing (imagining a future scenario that's really scary or painful. Probably the worst-case scenario. You spook yourself and you feel awful.)
- Projected dislike (imagining someone focusing on your with strong dislike or revulsion and feeling hurt, unworthy, or guilty.)
There are many, many more ways we can turn on ourselves and drain our confidence. My question for you is: What are your top two?
At least start with one.
What do you do on a regular basis that drains your confidence?
As you read this, you might already have a very good idea. If you are aware but it feels like you have no power to stop it, then it might be time to take more control of your confidence and your destiny my friend.
Remember, YOU are the captain of your ship.
You are the captain of your ship.
You are the master of your destiny.
You are in charge.
If you want to take things even further, identify the Confidence Drains and plug those up and increase your confidence more than ever before, check out Confidence University.
Get lifetime access to an abundance of training videos, courses, and materials that you can study, practice, and revisit to really grow into the biggest, most free, most authentic, and most confident version of yourself.
Share down below in the comments what you're finding most valuable in this blog and what your confidence drains are, so we can all learn from each other.
Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome!
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.