What If You WERE Interesting?Oct 13, 2022
Do you experience social anxiety? Do you sometimes struggle to speak up, share, and connect with others? One of the most common underlying stories that lead to this difficulty is this: I’m not that interesting.
This shows up in key areas of your life such as:
I’m not interesting to the people I’d like to be friends with or date.
I’m not interesting enough for an employer to hire me.
And so, thinking I'm NOT interesting is maybe the reason why you imagine why others might not like you, want to be your friend, or want to be with you.
What’s fascinating about this confidence-killing, limiting story is just how persistent it can be!
In fact, you might already have friendships, or a partner, and clear evidence that indeed people ARE interesting in you. Yeah, but …
So, to shake this story, I’d like to ask you a key question. And, to be clear, telling yourself that you’re not interesting IS just a story.
It’s protective B.S. that you repeat to yourself because it serves a purpose. And that purpose is to protect you. Because if you think you’re not interesting, then you won’t speak up, you won’t share, and you won’t let yourself be seen or known by others.
This provides protection on two levels:
- The outer protective layer is general avoidance. You simply don’t reach out to people as much because, hey, you’re not interesting anyway.
- The inner protective layer prevents you from getting closer or more intimate with others. Those around you in your life, even if they’re close friends or family, don’t really know you because you don’t share that much.
When you tell yourself you’re not interesting you hold back and reduce your authenticity and transparency. You are just being a fraction of who you really are.
So about that questions…
What if you WERE interesting?
Let’s just say BOOM! It happened! Somehow, magically, without anything major changing you were just more interesting.
If you were radically more interesting; if you KNEW that you were fascinating… what would you do?
How would you interact with others? How would you communicate?
How would you share? What would you share? Who would you share with?
Your answers to those questions provide a glimpse. A window into a bold, more free, and more confident version of you. My sense is this version is much freer to share enthusiastically about your life without overthinking and worrying about how others react.
Guess what will happen if you do share MORE?
You will become more attractive and bring many more amazing people into your world.
Sure, you may have some of those that don’t like what you share or don’t like what you are into.
And, you’ll have so many more who are.
You’ll have more friendships than you can know what to do with.
This is a common issue that I've heard from clients. As they challenge their stories and take bold action, they will say things like: “I have more people that want to spend time with me than I have time to get back to them all.”
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Interesting, not interesting, good enough, not good enough… That loop is endless and you can’t win that game, my friend.
What if instead you just decided? You decided to be on your own side and to be yourself. You decided to just share.
I’m going to share about myself, my life, and who I am. I’m going to be curious about others and ask about them.
I’m just connecting with my fellow humans who are sharing time on this planet for a while before we all go off to the next mysterious adventure. I don’t need to perform, I don’t need to be the best, I don’t need to be the most interesting, I can just be me.
And that is more than enough to create all the love and connection that I really seek.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.