Why You Feel Inferior (And What To Do About It)Jun 15, 2023
Do you ever feel inferior to other people?
That might think the question is rhetorical because the answer is probably, yeah, everyone feels that.
In fact, you might feel it once in a while, regularly or virtually all the time.
I've experienced it too—when I was younger, I lived like that almost all the time. Everywhere I went, I was comparing myself, usually to other men. I would look at women and feel inferior in some way, like, she's out of my league. I would look at men who were in that league and feel inferior to them all of the time.
This feeling of inferiority was so persistent that it was almost like the background sound of a fan or an air conditioner.
If you allow it to, it becomes part of the background of your existence; therefore, you feel you might just take it as a fundamental state of reality. This is how it is. Of course, I feel inferior because I am inferior.
But let's examine that notion for a minute.
You say this person is more valuable than I am, but they're more worthy than I am.
Now, the key question to ask yourself is, what makes a human worthy?
If I were looking at a man and he's better than me ,then I would ask what makes him more worthy or more valuable than me? I would say, “Well, he's taller, he's more muscular, he's more charming, he's white, etc.” Because when I grew up and I thought, oh, man, if I was white, then somehow that'd be better. Doesn't have a name like Aziz. He's got sort of an Anglo-Americanized name.
So just really ask yourself the question: what are the things that you are placing the value on now?
The cultural field that you grew up in, and the conditioning that you grew up in determines what those things are, for the most part.
The most common ones for men are: Are you athletic, good sports? Have you had sexual conquest you desire by women? Do you make money or have power in your company for women? What do you fit into the beauty standard? How desired are you? How popular are you? How sort of connection are you?
And of course, career could be thrown in there as well.
Just notice, is that what you're placing value in? Is the value of a man determined by how many women he slept with? What is the value of a woman, and what is her waist-to-hip ratio?
I'm asking you right now, as a conscious being, as a powerful creator, as a designer of your destiny, and as the captain of your ship, what is the value of a person? Is it how many people they slept with, what they look like, etc?
If the answer is no, then what is?
The answer is: YOU GET TO DECIDE.
You get to decide the games that you play. You don't have to play to try to be worthy. You enjoy being kind of quirky and making weird, funny art, and you can value that. Therefore, you can derive value from that.
Now, ultimately, that's not your only source of value. It's also dependent upon the weird art you create and the roles that you play as a dad, as a mom, as a husband, as a son, and as an employee; whatever the roles you play—ultimately, it's from something even bigger than that.
Your worth is in the beating pulse of your heart that's connected with the planet.
You probably read that thinking, What the hell are you talking about?
For now, let's stick with drawing your worth from stuff that's on your terms and your values. What are they for you? This is the time that you decide. You claim it. No one else can do this for you.
You can choose right now to say, “NO, I'm going to decide. I'm going to figure out what I value.”
And then when you do and say, look at that guy, you know, he makes a lot of money. You say, “Good for him. Maybe I can learn some tips from him.”
But it doesn't have that same heaviness to it. It was beautiful. Think about what you value and how you derive that value.
Until we speak again, may we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are fantastic.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.