You're Not Entitled To Confidence
Feb 02, 2023
You are not entitled to confidence—you have to earn it.
What do I mean by this?
There’s one pattern I see all the time, not only in people who don’t work with me but even in clients investing in the process, spending money, attending virtual or in-person events, or joining one of my group programs to make a change.
They still fall prey to this one pitfall: they feel entitled to confidence.
Let me explain what this means.
Entitlement is a sense that you’re owed something.
You may think you are entitled to special treatment. You may feel entitled to someone because of your agreement.
Sometimes in life, someone may have made an agreement with you or promised you something.
If they don’t, you may be unhappy and need to have an assertive conversation with them, but you are not guaranteed confidence in this life.
You’re NOT entitled to confidence.
Where does confidence come from?
I see many people have a subtle expectation of life; they might not be religious, but they’re demanding: God, give it to me, or life, give it to me.
They don’t walk around saying, “God, give me confidence. Life should give me confidence.” However, you can just hear it in their voice.
There’s a sense of what does it take to develop confidence? That sounds like a lot of work. I don’t know about that.
They might not even say that. They might just hear what it takes and say, “But I’m too messed up, but my parents, but my past, etc.,” They’re looking for reasons why they cannot—they want it with little or no effort, or they want it with less effort than it’s actually going to take.
What it actually takes to create a life of confidence is more than you think. It’s more than you want to give.
As humans, we want it quick and easy. We all want it, and we want it fast. “I want to press the button,” or “I want the item shipped to me by drone in 7 seconds,” or “I’m bored or restless or impatient.”
So we expect confidence to be the same thing.
However, confidence is a muscle and a skill.
You have to create an extraordinary level of belief in yourself, assertiveness, and confidence to go talk to people, speak in front of a camera, share your music, or disagree with somebody.
It’s not going to come overnight easily.
You’re going to have to build confidence over time.
You’re not entitled to anything regarding confidence or the quality of your life.
You, my friend, have to decide right now to claim it. No one else will do it for you, not until you say, “I am the captain of my ship, I create my destiny and I can create a life of confidence or a life of self-hatred and suffering.”
At the end of the day, most people choose the latter: self-hatred, suffering, and stuckness.
There's only one person who's going to decide that it stops and makes the change.
So if you're excited about this and you're ready to actually do something, I invite you to go further with me. Go over to my website, draziz.com, right now. You can get a free mini-course called Five Steps to Unleash Your Inner Confidence.
I also have a blog and a podcast that you can listen to, all for free.
If you want to take it further, we have virtual events.
We also have a year-long group program for those who are really ready to make the change, and you can choose your own course from there.
At the very least, you have to decide and then start taking in these materials and really make a committed effort to make this change in your life.
Until we speak again, may we have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you're awesome.
Reading blogs and watching videos online is a start...
When you are ready to radically transform your confidence so you speak up freely, boldly go after what you want, connect easily with others and be 100% unapologetically yourself, coaching is the answer.
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Confidence University is the culmination of all my years of work assisting others with overcoming social anxiety and building unstoppable confidence in its place. It's the next best thing to work with me one-on-one.